Turning off the faucet

This morning I saw a bumper sticker with the same slogan I saw on a sticky-note years ago. It reads:
"Too busy mopping to turn off the faucet!"
The sentiment always stikes a chord within me, but also mixed feelings. I recognize the futility and apparent short-sightedness of mopping up water, rather than getting up to turn off the faucet that is causing the flood. But I also know and recall many times in my life, when all by myself I felt overwhelmed by the water, I was torn between protecting and saving what was already getting wet and what would get ruined while I was searching for the leaky faucet.

Foster care "floods" are kind of like that. Of course we would turn off the faucet cause of the flood IF we knew what it was! But how can we guess. Like a plumber checking one pipe at a time, we don't even know if there is just one break or many. Is it the loss a child feels? Is it some previous trauma that still looms in their minds? Is it a memory that has come back to frighten them? The possibilities are almost endless.

For traditional parents it may be the mood swings of an adolescent that sparks the searching for the leaky cause, or a sudden change in a child's pattern of behavior that raises concerns. Any parent can find themselves torn between mopping and searching when unexplained illness hits a family member. While the professionals hunt for the reason, the cause of all the symptoms, the parents are often busy beyond words frantically mopping, trying to manage the symptoms, or keep the house running despite them, or both.

Fortunately most traditional parents only run into leaky pipes occasionally. Foster parents all too often find themselves finding one leak only to discover there is another... and another... and another. Sometimes the water seems to be rising faster than you can mop.

So what to do? Call a plumber. Often you are right... you CAN'T stop mopping long enough to find the leak or turn off the faucet. Call a plumber, two plumbers. Get a team of plumbers. For parents this may be a good therapist, doctor, support person, mentor, friend, or a mix combination of all those and more. Anyone who can help you mop or help you search is a person you should put on your team. Some floods are too big to handle alone ...don't hesitate, don't tell yourself you should do it on your own. Get a team. Get people to help. Call a "plumber."