School Bell: Celebrate Struggles: But...

The last two Mondays I explained two reasons to celebrate the struggles of schoolwork, particularly in middle school years :

1- Students hit that wall they are in a time when the grades matter far less than later in school or life.  [April 23]

2- Students who struggle learn strategies for overcoming challenges.  [April 30]

Today... the "but." Yes, celebrate Struggles BUT:

Be your child's best learning coach.

If you are a parent who does NOT have to help their child with homework:
It is essential that you find ways to challenge your children intellectually during these growth years. It is healthy for a child, while still surrounded by supportive parents, to experience challenge, frustration, even the occasional panic.  Those are opportunities to teach them ways to respond that will help them respond to other challenges, frustrations and panicked moments long beyond their academic years.

If you are a parent who DOES  have to help their child with homework:

When you are about to pull your hair at one more flash card drill, one more Venn diagram, etc., hold onto the thought that you are helping them develop systems for dealing with learning that will be in their personal learning baskets for the rest of their lives.  BUT: Touch base with your child's teacher about exploring learning assessments if you feel your child may have underlying challenges to learning or may need extra interventions to succeed.

Everyone: 
Gather up all the tips, tricks, and strategies you can and pass them on to your children through your teaching and through your example.  If they don't need them now, they will someday.

Parents play a pivotal role in their children's attitudes toward school and learning, their awareness of learning, and their opportunities to learn and grow. Coach your child every day!

Image credit and thanks to: inclusiveeducationpdresources.ca

Focus on Fostering: Personal Game Pieces

If your house is like mine.. you have enough plastic medicine vials and caps to build a model of the Empire State Building or perhaps a full size replica of the local DHHS building! Here is one of my favorite ways to up-cycle the plastic caps!  I talked about this idea once before, but I keep getting requests to repeat it, so here goes....

Take the caps off old medicine vials. Take some extra school pictures or old snapshots of your kids.  Cut the face of each child in a circle matched to the size of the cap. Glue the picture to the cap.  Voila... personal playing pieces!

For games like Monopoly you will only need one picture playing piece for each child.  For games like Parcheesi, Sorry etc. you will need a set of playing pieces for each child. Use matching pictures or a mix of pictures of each child. 

No more arguing over who gets to be the top hat or thimble in Monopoly or to play red in Sorry. No problem remembering who is what color or what symbol. Kids love moving "themselves" around the game board.  Plus, for kids with attachment or self-esteem issues, the personalizing is a real plus.

And don't let the kids have all the fun...make them for the parents too!  For an extra kick make some for frequent playmates of your children. My kiddos' friends are always excited when they discover I have made a playing person just for them out of an old snapshot.  Try it!  Let me know how it works for you.

Image credits: moderngent.com

School Bell: Celebrating School!

I don't know about your kids, but the last thing my kiddos want to do during vacations is school work.  So what do you do to use your spring vacation most effectively? Whether they are doing well in school so far or they are struggling, try this idea to inspire them to a good finish to the school year"

       Name and celebrate their successes, efforts, and hard work!  

Every single night of vacation as the family gathers around the table find a way to celebrate and name what they have done or are doing that contributes to school success.  They will not only see that you notice what they are doing, they will hear exactly what it is that you are honoring and valuing. Best of all they will be receiving positive attention for the good, rather than more typical disappointment or frustration with their challenges. Ideas:

--Celebrate a memory of the school year that demonstrates their efforts and their progress. Make up little trophies [or get from novelty store], or a certificate etc. to make the honor concrete.

--Share an assignment that they worked hard on and talk about how proud you were to see their effort.  If you remember what strategies they used, talk about them. [Ex: flashcards, drill, doing a bit at a time, etc.]

--Decorate a big mirror or door or fridge front with an array of positive papers and comments from the school year.

If your child is really struggling.... if none of the above seem feasible, try one or more of these:

--Buy a medal or blue ribbon from a party/novelty store [or make one!] and award it during dinner one night to celebrate a risk your child made or something new they tried, focusing on the courage it took to try regardless of the level of success.

--Celebrate the fact that your child is_______ [getting to school on time each morning, being polite in class, participating in chorus/band/sports/whatever, telling you the truth about how school is going, coming to you for help on homework or prepping for tests, etc.]  As long as your child is still in school they have not given up completely and you CAN find something to honor!

--Think about what previous struggles have been conquered. Bring them up and point out how easy they are now, celebrate! Ex: Talk about how long it took to learn to [tie shoes, or name colors, tell time, or write their name, etc.]  yet how simple the task is now. Compare that to things that you once struggled with, but keep the emphasis on what they have already worked through and conquered.

Image credits and thanks to: wbrz.com, medrounds.org, open.salon.com

Focus on Fostering: Saying "I Love You"

Do you have an adolescent who is mortified when you say “I love you” in front of their friends?  Don’t stop giving them the messages of love and connection. Instead come up with a “secret” family code that means “I love you.”  You can still tell them you love them, and they can return the affection without embarrassment, and with the special touch of bonding through a secret code. 

In our family we used the deaf “I love you” finger sign longer before it became widely recognized in the hearing world.  Later we would call out “RILY” to stand for “Remember, I love you!” 

One day one of my children discovered that when you say “elephant shoes” your lips make the same moves as in saying “I love you.” Bingo a new secret code was born…. Most strangers, hearing us say,  “Don’t forget elephant shoes!” to a departing loved one are just left to wonder where they are going, and what they do!


Image credits: lifeprint.com, soulsolutions.com.au

School Bell: Television Teaching... characters

In many places this is the start of the school vacation week.  In many homes there will be more television viewing than usual. But, this doesn't mean you can't continue to use television as a teaching tool. On February xx I talked about using television to teach the skill of summarizing and even note-taking.  Today I want to talk about using it to teach the literature concept of characters and description to boost your child's reading skills. If you have a child with learning disabilities that make reading a struggle, this will let them work with literature concepts beyond their reading level abilities but well within their understanding. 

TV Hint Two:  Characters and Description

1. Identifying the main character/s and their purpose in the story:

--Talk during commercial breaks about which actors/characters are the "main" characters.  --Who is the hero, good person  [for older kids... the protagonist]? 

--Who is the villain, problem person [antagonist]? 

2. Identifying supporting characters and minor characters:

--Talk about characters that were not the most important, but who helped make things happen, improve, or get worse? [ex: the best friend, the annoying person, the silly person, the family, etc.] These are supporting characters that the story needed.

--What actors were just minor characters to fill out the story scene [ex: students in a school scene, diners in a restaurant, etc.] These characters usually don't make much difference to the story except to make it seem real.

3. Analyzing and describing characters:

--Ask them to pick a character and describe that character as many ways as possible... first physically, then by their behavior, their moods, their actions, etc. 

--Talk about which characters would be good friends, people who could help, people who should be avoided in real life.


Image credits and thanks: colleenhammond.com, visualphotos.com

School Days: Get out of School Free Passes

Tomorrow I will continue a family tradition that many consider strange... especially for a teacher. Tomorrow one of my kiddos will stay home from school just because he has chosen not to go. There will be no consequences from me. Huh? ...Each school year I give each of my kiddos a "Get out of School Free" pass. It isn't exactly permission to play hookey since that is defined as absence from school "without permission." This is absence from school without the school's permission but with my permission.Now don't panic and think I have lost my mind.  Read on and then think about it.

I couldn't give this to my own children until they were old enough to stay home alone safely because I was working full time as a teacher. I could give it to my current kiddos at an earlier age since I am no longer teaching. They each get to pick one day a year when they may choose to stay home without penalty from me. It cannot be on a day they have a test, nor the first day of school. They can only use this pass one time per year.

I find this token is rarely used. I remind them of it whenever they try to play sick and clearly are not. It seems to eliminate some of the usual hassles/whines about "I don't want to go to school today." It avoids most of the rants and rages and fights by putting a bit of choice/power in their hands. I simply ask if they are using their Skip Pass that day and remind them that they only have one. Usually the child decides s/he might need it more later and goes ahead to school. If they choose to use it, fine. Sometimes they choose to use it on their birthday, as my kiddo is tomorrow. I call the school to let them know that s/he will not be in school that day. They may spend the day as they choose as long as it is acceptable behavior that doesn't break family rules and doesn't interfere with my duties for the day.

My kids like the idea, teachers live with it [once I explain it is only one day], and I find it acknowledges the wishful thinking we all have about working, helps the children be honest, to make conscious choices and it helps promotes good decision making. Besides... it is one of the rare things I do that they think is cool. :-)

Image credits: ventingstation.com, westsoundacademy.org

Anything Can Happen: Edible Fun

This is one for younger folks.... but ONLY if no one in the family or who will be playing has a nut allergy!!

Get your critters together... clear a clean spot on the table, lay out a large bowl [or two], wash hands well, put on aprons, and get ready for some creative fun where kids can be sticky, then playful, and can eat any mistakes!   You only need three ingedients to get started.

Edible Play Dough

Mix together:
2 cups powdered milk
2 cups peanut butter

Blend in 3 Tablespoons of honey

Options:
Add more powdered milk a bit at a time if the dough is too sticky to use at first.

Add edible extras for texture, taste, fun or to decorate what you create with the basic dough!

Gather some cookie cutters, presses, decorating stencils or whatever you would like to use for decorating and shaping.  We found that even egg molds will work!

You can decorate your creations with anything edible. [Ideas: nuts, raisins, and chocolate chips mix in well.  Stick pretzels, MandMs, gum drops, string licorice, and even sprinkles can be added to make roads, trees, etc. in your play dough world.]

My granddaughters tend to make fake cookies, cakes, flowers, etc.
My grandsons are more likely to make cars, roads, and villages.
What will your kiddos think of?

Think of it this way.... at least when your little one makes you play cookies of edible dough... you can eat them rather than fake-eating clay or play-doh creations.

Have fun.... after all it's Anything Can Happen Day!

School Bell: Parent Conference Tips

Last Monday I talked about assesing the start your children have made this year and encouraged conversation with his or her teacher.  So, we have already talked about the importance of sharing the home perspective with the teacher on school in general and on the homework front as well. Here are three key tips to keep in mind as you prepare for that conference.

Bring specific questions.

"How is he doing?" is less helpful than "What area does he need to work on?" "Who does she usually buddy up with for team projects?" instead of "Is she getting along with others okay?" These can help you be more effective helping your child with both studying and social concerns.

Prioritize and Make a list.

Having a list of key things you want to cover or questions you want answered is one of the best ways to be sure you don't get sidetracked during the conference or stuck talking in platitudes and generalities.  Most conferences are limited to around 20 minutes. The teacher will have information to share, so decide your top two priorities and write them down to make sure you cover them!

And....
If you can't get to everything, make an appointment to continue the discussion, chances are there is another parent waiting in the hallway for their 20 minutes.

Image credit: angelamaiers.com

Soapbox: My Golden Rule

All this month I have been doing family rules each parenting tip day [Thursdays]. I've done rules for going out, rules about tattling, about privacy, but what about the over-all theme of your home?  Does it address honesty? respect? what? What is the base line for your home?

From when I was a small child I was taught the golden rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."  I got that it meant to treat others nicely because you want to be treated nicely. I got that. But when I became a foster parent I sadly learned that there is a step before nice, before love, before anything. A step that most children take for granted and are given automatically, but that others can barely dream of having..... safety.

From my early days of foster parenting I developed my own golden rule that focused on what my baseline was.  My rule was two words.... Safe and Loved.  Everyone in thehouse was to be safe and loved. [I figured that in a way those two words encompassed everything else.  It doesn't directly ention honesty... but....You don't lie to someone you love, you want someone you love to be proud of you, so you hold yourself to a high moral standard in actions and words. etc. etc. Sneaky, but those two words kind of cover a whoooole lot.

Since then I have expanded it a bit because I found that there is something beyond safety, beyond love. I saw that many of the foster children I know seem stuck, even when safe, even when loved. Stuck in their past, stuck in their view of themselves, stuck in their visioning and ability to see a positive future.
Their eyes often lack the sparkle so common in the eyes of their peers. Instead a sadness, an tiredness, even a remaining fearfulness, is often seen.  Everyone deserves to know what it is like to be excited, eager, ...happy. So I added a piece. My parenting goal became: Every child deserves to be safe, to be loved, and to know joy. As a family we wanted that to apply not just to the children in the house, but to the adults, to the pets, and to our guests.

So, our family golden goal is:
   
May everyone who enters this home feel safe, feel loved and experience joy.

I'm sure it will continue to change and shift. What about your family.  What is your personal family golden rule?  Share?

Image credits: presentationadvisors.com

School Bell: Let's Go Fishing Again!

On request I am repeating this post from last year.  People have had great luck with it and suggested I repost it. So... here you are.... Enjoy!

Try this trick for getting your reluctant child to do their homework or practice their spelling or math facts.

Let's Go Fishing!:  Buy a bag of goldfish type crackers. Make a construction paper fishing picture with a boat on water and an assortment of simple outline fish in the water.

You can put on peel and stick fish or draw your own using something like this coloring page of fish you can download and use as an idea starter. When they start their homework put a goldfish cracker on top of each fish on the paper. [You should have 8-15 fish depending on the project or the child's age.] For each question they answer, or each spelling word they get right, etc. they get to eat one of the goldfish crackers.

Let's Go on Safari! :
If goldfish aren't their style try using animal crackers.  Do a safari theme using a download like one of these!] and place the appropriate animal cracker on the pictures.  You can even just take a photo of the jungle and lay the crackers anywhere you want on the picture. Use your imagination. As with the fish, for each answer done they get to eat one of the animals.

The few crackers they eat make a relatively healthy after school snack and often motivate and reward the child for tackling that list of math problems or other dreaded work. Try it!

Image credit: qwickstep.com

Focus on Fostering: Game Tokens

So, when was the last time your kids fought over who got to be the thimble in Monopoly, or the blue playing pieces in Sorry, and on and on?  You get out a game for a few minutes of family bonding and before you even can start it seems they are at each other's throats. Sound familiar?  Try this.... take the caps off old medicine vials. Take some extra school pictures or old snapshots of your kids.  Cut the face of each child in a circle matched to the size of the cap. Glue the picture to the cap.  Voila... personal playing pieces!

For games like Monopoly you will only need one picture playing piece for each child.  For games like Parcheesi, Sorry etc. you will need a set of playing pieces for each child. Use matching pictures or a mix of pictures of each child. No problem remembering who is what color or what symbol.  No fighting over colored playing pieces.  Kids love moving "themselves" around the game board.  Plus, for kids with attachment or self-esteem issues, personalizing is a real plus.

And don't forget to make them for the parents too!  

For an extra kick make some for frequent playmates of your children. My kiddos' friends are always excited when they discover I have made a playing person just for them out of an old snapshot.  Try it!  Let me know how it works for you.

Image credits: moderngent.com

Parenting Tips: Student Interviews [Year Folders]

On Monday I talked about helping your child transform their mountain of accumulated papers from the school year into a simple folder representing their year. I promised other ideas for enhancing that folder with memories of the that year in your child's life. By doing these once a year, you can have a lifelong "scrapbook" of their lives in simple folders. Here are my five top ideas:

1. Make a handprint/Trace their hand: 

Nothing fancy. Just trace it or print it AND be SURE to put name and date on it. Add height and weight if you like.  [Later if you are crafty these can be turned into a quilt by using each hand print to make a quilt block pattern, or each one can be copied and made into a book for their children to compare against each year. ]

2. Add 4-5 photos:  

Most families take lots of phone/camera pics that languish on SD cards or in computer folders.  Pick several that feature the child to keep in the folder and represent that school year/age.  

Ideas:

       a. holiday picture of child 

       b. picture of child doing a favorite activity  [sports, playing a game, even reading or watching tv]

       c. child with a favorite friend 

       d. child with favorite toy/object

       e. child with pet

       f. whole family

       g. child and accomplishment [certificate, ribbon, recital, playoff, skill]
h. anything unusual [chicken pox, broken arm, mumps]

3."Interview" your child: You may be able to do it without them, but you will have more fun if you make this part of a you and your child lunch event. Use the same basic questions/categories each year so that later when they look back they [and their future children!] can see the ages and stages they went through. Ideas:

     a. What was the most fun you had this year?

     b. What was the hardest thing you did this year?

     c. Who are your best friends this year?

     d. What is your favorite thing to do indoors?

     e. What is your favorite thing to do outdoors?

     f. What skill or activity did you learn to do this year?  [or get better at this year]

     g. If you could meet any famous person you chose, who would you like to meet?

     j. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?  [If you could change/improve one thing?]

     i. If you could meet and talk to any famous person you chose, who would you like to get to know?

     j. Who do you hope to be when you grow up?

4. Make a recording of your child: If you also record your child's voice you and they [and maybe their children] will also have the fun later of hearing your child's voice change as they get older. Always start with their name and the date that you are making the recording! They can sing a song, recite the ABC's or as they are older you can record the "interview." [Remember to still always write down or type the answers and stick the pages in the folder.] Just be sure that you keep up with the technology or you will have the equivalent of an 8-track recording tape in an MP3 world.  Transfer the recordings to new technology as it develops, while you still can. 

5. Make an evolutionary "chart" of your child.  

Take a photo of them "growing" by taking a picture each year  in front of a standard room door or front door, showing the doorknob in the photo.  Unlike trees or bushes, doors are a standard height so will show the growth year after year. If you have the child hold a sign with the date, grade [or at least the year] each time, it can make a more fun display later.

Image credits: kundhi.com, keep3.sjfc.edu, jeffreyalanmiller.wordpress.com, brokenlaces.net, aclaimimages.con

School Bell: End of Year Paper Pile

As the end of the school year arrives, one last task always awaits students before leaving for the summer break.... cleaning out their lockers!  Combined with teacher's cleaning off their desks of last papers, this means an inevitable smorgasbord of paper that comes home scrunched into folders, straining the zippers of backpacks, sometimes spilling into paper bags, and all erupting into a flood somewhere between the front door and the desks or tables in homes all across the country.  Now, unless you too raised 4 or more children at a time, you probably didn't see piles like these, but I'm sure you still saw many more papers than you could possibly want.

Don't Panic!  Don't throw it all away or one of your children is bound to dissolve into anguished wails mourning treasures lost.  Don't keep it all or by the time they are grown and gone, you will be left with ungainly closetfuls of papers and memorabilia per child.  Even if you have never started this system it is not too late! Here is my suggestion:

1. Prepare: Give each child a separate place to put their papers and treasures. Choose a time and make a date/appointment with each child for a time in the next 48 hours when you will have the child show you all of their papers.

2. KEEP your date: When the agreed time comes, sit down with your child [the one who brought the papers home] and tell them that you are excited to see of their papers. Add that you want to make a special way to save the most special papers from this year to keep and remember as they get older.  Together you are going to choose what papers show what school was for them this year.

3. Set the goal: Explain that your child gets to choose up to 10 items or papers and you get to choose up to 10 items or papers. [Remember to choose papers that represent all the year, not just the very best of the year... maybe something from the early part and something from the end of the year.]


4. Go through the pile:  Ooh and aahh, celebrate progess, achievements.  Emphasize that effort and progress are the key, not perfection. Enjoy the time with the child focusing on them and building both bonds and enthusiasm about their year.

5. Label everything: If you don't get to 20 total, great. Whatever you end up with, be sure that each paper is labeled with the child's name and [if not a full date] at least the school year.

6. Make the folder: Get a fresh manilla folder and on the outside of the folder put: the child's name, grade level, the child's teacher/s that year, and the name and address of the child's school. If you have a photo of the child from that school year add it to the outside of the folder.

7. Start the collection: Put the chosen papers in the folder for this school year and file in a secure place. Repeat with each child, and repeat each year. [Don't forget to throw out the rest of the papers.!]

On Thursday's blog I will share a few simple ideas to make these folders even more treasured keepsakes for years to come.

Image credits: guardian.co.uk, st-yves.pbworks.com,, anniewilcox.blogspot.com

Parenting Tips: When Tragedy Strikes

Every child whose home school was destroyed by a tornado, burned, or flooded needs this book.

 Every child who has had a family member or friend die unexpectedly needs this book.  

Every library should have this book available!

Yes, I know I just talked about this book on Tuesday... but many of my readers only "tune in" on the day they think fits them.  This book is too crucial for regular parents to miss.  Especially with all that has been happening lately across the country, in fact around the word.  Every child who has a relative or friend who has been traumatized could use this book.  Parents, teachers, neighbors, and caregivers should all read this book to understand what is happening inside the children.  I wish I had written a book as wonderful and as important as this one.  Every town library should have this book available for parents and kids who will never know when they may need it.  GET one! Recommend it to your town library and your school library!!

                   R e a d   i t ! 

A Terrible Thing Happened

By Margaret M Holmes

Ill by: Cary Pillo

Pub: Magination Press [American Psychological Assoc]

This fanTAStic book tells the story of Sherman Smith who saw a terrible thing happen. Readers watch as Sherman tries to forget about it but can't. It follows as he starts showing the impact of the memory and eventually readers see him meet someone who helps him talk about the terrible thing and then sees Sherman start to do and feel better.  One of my favorite things about the book is that the terrible thing is never specified which lets the reader or listener fill in the blank with what fits their experience.  A wonderful addition is an afterword that gives both examples of the kind and range of events that can cause trauma for children who are witnesses AND fifteen clear specific suggestions on how to help such children. This is my absolute favorite to reread or talk about when my kiddos at home, at church, or at school are clearly bothered by something... sometimes something I know has happened, sometimes something that we don't know.


Image credits: followinginmyshoes.com, slate.com, climbing.com, bookswim.com  

School Bell: Senior Year - Senioritis

For any of you with a high school senior in the house you no-doubt have discovered that senior year is an infection that causes your child to mutate in strange, mysterious ways.  The child that in September you could not possibly think you could let go of, you are now likely ready to help him or her pack their bags on a regular basis.

In medical terms when you see the suffix -itis  at the end of the word it usually means "an irritation, swelling, or inflammation of...."  [Examples: Larynigitis... the irritation, swelling, or inflammation of the larynx, appendicitis... the irritation, swelling, or inflammation of the appendix]. So it follows that senioritis is the irritation, swelling, or inflammation of the senior!  Now I don't know about you.. but my seniors often are increasingly irritated as the year progresses [usually by anyone in the family, but especially by me].  Their egos were also increasingly swollen! And, they are almost constantly inflamed [usually in response to the word "no"]!

I try to remind myself that they are practicing all the skills they will need once they have left.  They are practicing independent decision making [dang it]. They are trying to create their own work/play/eat/sleep patterns [yikes].  They are making their own fashion/clothing choices. And, they are exploring moral choices. Like when a child first starts to try to walk, they don't always do a very good job.  Unlike when a child first starts to try to walk... they do NOT want our hands, advice, or corrections.   ...Sigh....

All we can do is try to make sure they are experimenting in a safe, hopefully somewhat protected environment, and then-- be ready to help if they hurt themselves in a fall. Oh yes, and we need to know and remember that the falling is a necessary part of the learning process.


After all the senior years I have survived with my kiddos I have come to this conclusion.
1--Senioritis is as wonderful a sign [albeit painful] of development as crawling or walking.
and
2--Senior year's struggle is God's way of helping us let go.

Image credits:  nfdl.k12.wi.us, sixwise.com, activerain.com

Parenting Tips: Plan a Happy Mother's Day

Have you ever been disappointed on Mother's Day? I have. I am ashamed to say that I have sometimes spent Mother's Day evening feeling sorry for myself, feeling frustrated instead of pampered or celebrated.  Not a very politically correct admission, but real.  Part of it is being a single parent for so many years.  But in all honesty it could have happened just as easily while I was still married.   I think it is partly because I didn't plan properly. I didn't teach my kids HOW to make it happy or give them the tools to succeed.

Set yourself up for a GOOD Mother's Day... start planning now!

What you can do will depend on your kids ages, dispositions, etc. but here are a few ideas..,

1. Mark it and circle it in red on all family calendars.
2. Talk about it at dinner.  Talk about it in the car.  Prep children [and spouses!] with lots of info!
3. Give them ACHIEVable ideas [ex: Don't expect 24 hours of calm... ask for an hour in the afternoon]
4. Make a list of wishes they could choose from.... include free stuff like backrubs, bubble bath, etc.
5. Stock up on things they need to make it easier for you  [paper plates, individual boxes of breakfast cereal, cake mix & prepared frosting, whatever] Maybe even rent a video that will keep them happily occupied for that hour of peace you want, while you curl up with a good book or the latest gossip mag.

If you are a single parent, give them ideas of things you can enjoy from the local dollar store [candles, soaps, stationery, whatever], give them chances to earn $1-2 during the week and arrange for a babysitter or friend to take them shopping.

Last but not least... While we are at it....start planning now for your next birthday.... teach your children to make a dinner meal that you would enjoy on your birthday. Teach them how to make a breakfast in bed tray, and the breakfast to go on it!

Image credits: whenguide.com,nslcity.org, mombizcoach.com

Parenting Tips: Bedtime Comfort Songs

When I was a very young child I remember my grandmother singing Bye Baby Bunting to put me to sleep. Sometimes my grandfather would even rock me to sleep with it. Here are the old words they used:

 Bye baby bunting
 Daddy's gone a hunting
 To find a little rabbit skin
 To wrap his baby bunting in.

By the time I had children the thought of hunting, or wrapping a child in a rabbit skin was NOT appealing to me. But the tune had magical memories [and powers] for me-- so I changed the words for my children. Our family lyrics are:

Bye Baby bunting
Daddy's gone a hunting
To find a blanket soft and warm
To wrap you up all safe from harm.

I sing it's five or six simple notes over and over and over and over... each time inserting a different family member's name in the 2nd line.  [Yes, I even include pets and friends.] As kids get older [even into adolescence] they sometimes ask me to sing it for them as I tuck them in...sometimes saying that tonight we have time for 5 verses or 3 verses or 10 verses, etc.  If it is only a few, I let them choose whose names to use that night. This new version has now worked its magic for another whole generation of grandchildren and assorted munchkins, brining comfort, calm, and almost always peaceful sleep.

My slightly less frightening version of the original Rockabye Baby was "Rock a bye baby in the tree tops, When the wind blows the cradle will rock.  If the bough breaks, the cradle might fall, but Mummy/Nana will catch you, cradle and all."
[Not bad, definitely better than the baby falling "cradle and all" as in the original, but not great.]

But another foster mother named Wendy* rewrote  and gave me permission to share her MUCH better, wonderful affirmative, comforting words:

        Rock a bye baby,
              I love you so
        I'll keep you warm
              when any wind blows
        When the rain falls,
               I'll cover your head
        And softly I'll lay you
                 down in your bed.

I LOVE IT!  
What are your favorite bedtime comfort songs?
Share please!

* Wendy has a wonderful foster parent blog/podcast you should check out at www.fosterpodcast.com

Image credits: wassupdoc.wordpress.com, ilovecamping.blogspot.com, mamalisa,com, flickr.com

School Bell: Pesky Multiplication Facts

Do you have a child still struggling to learn those blasted multiplication tables before the end of the year?  Maybe your child is just  beginning to learn the tables. Maybe they are stuck on one or two of the sets, like the 7s or the 6s. Here is a tip that is not a cure, but IS a good way to sneak in some extra practice AND some extra togetherness in a fun, enjoyable way.

For beginners or to make it easier start with just the facts tables for 1-3. Go to a local craft store and buy two small wooden cubes [about 25¢ each]. Number each of the six sides with 1, 2, or 3, making a pair of 1-3 dice. 

Pick out your child's favorite board game.  Pick one with a long trail [like Parcheesi, Sorry, etc.]. Announce that this time when you roll the dice you won't move the total of the two dice, but the product of the two dice. 

So what would have been a move of 6 spaces can change into a move of 8 [2x4], 9 [3x3] or only 5 [5x1]. At first it may slow down the turns a bit while the child figures the math, they will move around the board faster too.  For real beginners you can make the move in sets [2x4 means moving 4 twice] to discover the total move [in that case 8], or allow a multiplication table or calculator. If you have only a bit of time, choose any trail game, disregard all other rules, and just see who is first to get one playing piece all the way around the board and back to the start. 

For intermediates use facts tables for 1-6. Use a pair of regular 1-6 dot dice and multiply the two numbers of each roll. Skip all the other rules and sidetracks and just make it a race once or twice around the board.  The range of random dice rolls that cam mean moving anywhere from 1 space [1x1] to 36 [6x6] will keep it moving and exciting. And, when a roll that might have been 12 [6+6] becomes a whopping 36 [6x6] it is always anyone's game to "win." 

To make it harder use one 1-6 die and one of your 1-3 dice so that the game will review the facts tables from 1-9. 

If you have a real math whiz, you can even challenge them to use both 1-6 dice and roll them twice for each turn [one for the first number and one for the second] so that they learn the mental math for 1-12 multiplication! For the not-so-whiz maybe you allow a calculator for the 11s and 12s. 


If you are targeting a specific table [like the 7s or 9s or whatever the child is stuck on] focus on just that table. Roll the dice only once and multiply that by the number you are practicing.

Remember, these are not magic cures, but they usually offer more practice, and happier shared time than flashcard drills.  


Image credits:  softpedia.com, gifted.uconn.edu, unit5.org, craftparts.com, edupics.com