Quick Takes: The Inner Child

When I win the lottery.....

Im going to release my inner child with a staircase shortcut like this---

P.S. And for my aging soul... an elevator for the ride back up!    :-)  

Anything Can Happen: Super Moon & Moon Games

The local news ran a story about this weekend's "Super Moon" caused when the moon is closest to the earth.  It made me remember some amazing, creative photos that I had seen a long time ago by a French photographer.  It took me quite a while [and made this post a bit late] but with the help of today's internettechnology, I finally found them. Photos of stars, of eclipses, of new moons, harvest moons, and more.

I love when someone's creativity and skill creates something wonderful as in full of wonder. Here are just a few of Laurent Laveder's stunning efforts.  When you can, visit the website with several photo galleries of his work.  Bookmark it.  Go back and visit it again and again.  Show your children.  Celebrate the creativity and imagination on Anything Can Happen Day of someone who thought "What would happen if...." and created such images! Maybe you too can learn to play with the stars and, this weekend, with a Super Moon!

Maybe a game of catch




Or  hula hoop?


Or perhaps you can catch the moon and balance it on your finger...

Or move it around for a better view.


Be inspired!  Anything Can Happen! !


Image credit, thanks and awe to Laurent Laveder

Soapbox: Public Joy

About a year and a half ago I ran a series during my Wednesday Soapbox slots that people really seemed to appreciate.  I have been asked to rerun those posts. If anyone misses my usual soapbox posts, let me know and I will return to them.  Otherwise we will revisit Dr. PAtch Adam's Prescription to Change Society.

 Has anybody heard of Dr. Patch Adams?  Yes, the one on whose life the Robin Williams movie was based. Although the movie oversimplified his approach [of course] he did believe that "laughter, joy, and creativity are an integral part of the healing process." He once wrote a list of Ten Questions he thought could change our society.  Called "Patch's Prescription" it is his "Take 10 and call me in the morning." So I got thinking that maybe we could try one or two each week and see if we saw any difference in our lives or those around us. [Check out the link if you want to know some of what the soapbox will be looking at in the next few Wednesdays.]

Since we've been talking joy... let's look at his question about joy:

"If being publicly joyful, even silly, were beneficial for our society, would you participate?"

You can choose to do something small but silly like wear a clown nose, or two ties, or mismatched socks. Get some friends to join you! You can try being a bit more daring anonymously with a chicken dance in public or with some friends like the Inspired Mayhem group who also tried some silly walks in public to see if others would join in. Flash mobs are one of the better known examples of large groups and public silliness.
Some flash mobs create the effect by doing nothing in the middle of a grocery store.  

In NYC and other major cities there is an annual, really radical: No Pants Subway Day  [3500 participated in NYC in January]
In the UK they did two public art projects to revive the sense of silly in adults.

Sometimes silly even catches on and becomes a fad [Think hula hoops, pet rocks, and silly bandz!]

So. I challenge each of you to participate in an act of public joy this week.  If you are more radical or more daring, organize a group activity. Let's see what happens.  Let's make joyfulness contagious!  Think what could happen. I suspect Dr. Adams would be proud.  


Image credits: bradmontgomery.com, shoponline2011.com,unexpectedidea.com, selectaspeaker.com

Quick Takes: A Joyful Sound!

I saw this just before leaving for my trip but had to wait until now to be able to post it.  They reported on this phenomenon on NBC Nightly News. I then did some online research and found an article about the project, composer Eric Whitacre's 2010 virtual choir performance and a blog about how he creates each virtual choir.  [Note: There has also been a YouTube virtual symphony]   Whitacre  made an instructional video for singers to learn their parts and then continued working to create his exceptional concert.

Can you imagine?....  music created by a virtual chorus.... nearly 3,800 strangers who have never met, probably never will.  Each one singing alone in their own home, office, bedroom, facing their computers individually, yet part of an amazing chorus.

Singing each part alone, yet together via that nebulous "cloud" that is the internet.... they joined together to make amazing and beautiful music!


Cyber music

A Cyber, Joyful Sound !

His 2011 results can be heard here.

Anything Can Happen: The Joy Team

In keeping with what I asked us to think about in my Wednesday Soapbox post... how exactly can one go about scattering joy?  Think about what makes YOU smile.
Is it a baby's throaty chuckle?
Is it a bunch of joyful dancers in an unexpected flash mob?

While in Oregon I heard about the JOY billboards that are designed to spread joy and sponsored by the Joy Team [see below].  Maine has a law that forbids billboards of any kind. But imagine signs like this scattered across the country!
Check out their website to see how it is done and to see other examples of their projects.

www.thejoyteam.org   a site devoted to spreading joy to millions through billboards, directories of love, joy, kindness, etc.
Note:  They also have a site geared for kids called the Junior Joy Team

If you need more ideas for happiness check out some of these websites!  [found by googling and exploring the results of searching "happiness"  

www.happynews.com     an antidote for all the sadness and tragedy in the regular news programs

www.happinesshints.com  "How to Create the Happy Life You Deserve

www.happiness-project.com   site by the author of the book about a year searching for happiness

www.happiness.com    daily happiness tips, funny photos, etc.

www.happiestmoment.org  People post photos and descriptions of their happiest moments

Soapbox: Happiness is Contagious!

Did you know that if a friend of your's who lives two miles away from you is happy, you too are 22% more likely to be happy.  If your friend lives less than half a mile away, you are 42% more likely to be happy! Happiness is contagious and now there is indication of proof! Two scientists [one from Harvard and one from UCSD] collected data from almost 5,000 people over a 20-year study of the spread of happiness.

Remember the Six Degrees of Separation game? Well, the Fowler and Christakis study found that the happiness contagion holds up for three degrees of separation! The slide at left is their diagram of a Framingham, MA social network.  The individuals are color coded in gradations from blue for sadness to yellow for happiness.

Check out this website to read a 2008 professional article by the two scientists describing the study and its results. ["Dynamic Spread of Happiness in a Large Social Network: A longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study" published December 4, 2008 in the British Medical Journal/BMJ]

Check out this website to see a short blogpost describing and reacting to the research study.

Remember when your parents told you to stay away from negative people, cause they would bring you down; to play with happy, cheerful people?  Turns out, they were wise once again.  So, now we have scientific evidence that tells us that by being happy [especially being openly happy] WILL make other people happy too! Happiness IS contagious!! Go "infect" the world!

Quick Takes: Red Plate Special!

Three days ago I promised to explain how to use the extra red plates [or mugs or bowls] that you picked up on sale after Valentine's Day.  Here is one way to brighten an enliven a meal with the use of one of those red plates:

1. Keep a red plate in the cupboard.

2. Any time you choose, serve a specific member at the table with the red plate.

3. The person  with the red plate is granted special privileges:
     [gets to be served first, first choice on seconds, may pass on any part of the meal, doesn't have to clear their place, .... what ever privileges you choose to give the plate.]

4. After dinner, put the red plate back in the cupboard until the next time you feel like pulling it out.

Pull out the red plate for someone who has earned a reward, for someone who is discouraged and needs cheering up, for a guest, etc.  Be creative!   Have fun with it!


Image credit: monstermarketplace.com

Soapbox: World Love

So, today is the day after Valentine's Day.

What has changed?  .....Nothing?   .....Something? 

In theory, we spent yesterday letting people know they are loved.
Are we through?
Are we all set until next February?
Or will we keep the spirit going?
Will we be sure they know it and are told it every day?
Will we stop with the people we know or push the feeling beyond our inner circle?

How would that world look?

Why can't it happen?
On October 31, 2011 the world population reached 7 billion people. Too many to reach? It is if you try to do it alone.  According to the Huffington Post it you tried to greet each person one at a time, one per second it would take you 222 years non-stop!
But, if one person told two people per day, who each told two the next day,  who each told two the next day and so on.... thanks to the power of exponential growth, the messsage of love could thoreticallly reach every living person on earth in less than 33 days!

Wouldn't that change the world ? !

Image credit: arquazuarma.blogspot.com

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day.. I already posted a meditation on Sunday about the natural and surprising connections of foster care and Valentine's Day. For the last week I have shared all kinds of ways to tell the people around you how much you care.

So today I just want to say... I love you...

--to each and every person who stops by to read this little blog.

...to each and every person who takes the leap and chooses to give love to a child who was not loved enough.

... to each and every person who helps and supports those who take that leap.

and, of course, to all the wonderful, loving people in my own family and my own life.... 
I love you!


Pass it on!

School Bell: School Valentine Surprise

Dig out or pick up some simple sidewalk chalk, get together some parents or kids or both and give your children's teachers an unusual valentine surprise as they arrive at school tomorrow. 

After the parking lot empties this afternoon, when all the teachers have gone, talk the chalk and fill the walkway at the entrance to the school with messages of appreciation and joy.

What a simple, inexpensive, but pricelessly wonderful way to greet the teachers and staff as they arrive on Valentine's Day tomorrow!

Piggyback idea: Be sure to take some photos.  Come Teacher Appreciation Day or even the end of the school year you can use the photos to make cards for the teachers.

Note: If you are reading this too late for Valentine's Day... use the idea for Teacher Appreciation Day, the end of the school year, or the first day of school.  Start a community tradition!

Image credits:  sidewalkchalk.com, uknow.drew.edu, everydayheartbeats.com

Soapbox: "I Love You" Language Challenge

I found a blog-site post that lists the phrase "I Love You" in 179 different languages! [Click the underlined phrase to check it out!]
  
It focuses on the actual words  "I Love You" and translates it nearly 200 ways, both informal and formal in for languages spoken in hundreds  different countries. 

Let's get ready for Valentine's Day.  I challenge each of us to see how many times we sincerely can say the words "I love you" to people we care for between now and Valentine's Day.  Add in writing the words "I love you" in little notes left for those same people to find as they go about their days.  Maybe you want to do it anonymously, at least for some of the times. Maybe you want to do it for those who may not often hear it.  Maybe you want to focus on a particular person and just lavish them for a week.

Just words you might be tempted to think?  I thought about soapboxing about putting actions behind words. Then I decided that words are not a bad place to start, a way to begin.  Besides, hearing those three words is still music to most people's ears, and the words are beautiful to see and hold.

So check out that blog-site. Maybe you want to leave the words in a different language each time for fun.  See how many you know.  But whatever the language.... let's not hold onto those words right now... this is a great time to set them free and share them generously! 

Image credit: nedya-sygs.blogspot.com

Quick Takes: Pre-Super Bowl Fun

There has been a lot of chatter this week about the Super Bowl and as a New Englander I do not even dare to talk about teams... but everyone can agree [I think] that we will see some fun, clever commercials.  So for a quick take today here are three short international commercials for bus travel touting the advantages of traveling in groups.

For a quick laugh click and check these out!

            penguins        Or  maybe you prefer        ants   vs.   anteaters


My favorite?   .... the crabs:

Enjoy!

School Days: Get out of School Free Passes

Tomorrow I will continue a family tradition that many consider strange... especially for a teacher. Tomorrow one of my kiddos will stay home from school just because he has chosen not to go. There will be no consequences from me. Huh? ...Each school year I give each of my kiddos a "Get out of School Free" pass. It isn't exactly permission to play hookey since that is defined as absence from school "without permission." This is absence from school without the school's permission but with my permission.Now don't panic and think I have lost my mind.  Read on and then think about it.

I couldn't give this to my own children until they were old enough to stay home alone safely because I was working full time as a teacher. I could give it to my current kiddos at an earlier age since I am no longer teaching. They each get to pick one day a year when they may choose to stay home without penalty from me. It cannot be on a day they have a test, nor the first day of school. They can only use this pass one time per year.

I find this token is rarely used. I remind them of it whenever they try to play sick and clearly are not. It seems to eliminate some of the usual hassles/whines about "I don't want to go to school today." It avoids most of the rants and rages and fights by putting a bit of choice/power in their hands. I simply ask if they are using their Skip Pass that day and remind them that they only have one. Usually the child decides s/he might need it more later and goes ahead to school. If they choose to use it, fine. Sometimes they choose to use it on their birthday, as my kiddo is tomorrow. I call the school to let them know that s/he will not be in school that day. They may spend the day as they choose as long as it is acceptable behavior that doesn't break family rules and doesn't interfere with my duties for the day.

My kids like the idea, teachers live with it [once I explain it is only one day], and I find it acknowledges the wishful thinking we all have about working, helps the children be honest, to make conscious choices and it helps promotes good decision making. Besides... it is one of the rare things I do that they think is cool. :-)

Image credits: ventingstation.com, westsoundacademy.org

Focus on Fostering: "You chose this"

Last Wednesday on "Soapbox" I told about a different perspective on life situations.  Not labeling things as simply Have to do [the things we dread, avoid, and hate doing] vs Want to do [the things we love, choose, and do happily.  Adding a category of Choose to do [though not wanted].  This made me think of foster parenting and I promised I would explain that today even though it isn't soapbox day.  I suspect my experience is not terribly different than many of you foster parenting challenging children.

I sometimes feel like those around me think I have no right to complain or sigh or moan.  Too often I hear the comment that I didn't Have to do this. They assume that choosing to do something means we Want to do it.  Particularly for those doing kinship care nothing could be farther from the truth.  We never wanted to be in this position.  Our nightly dream is a world where all children are raised by loving, caring, adequate parents.  But they aren't.  We don't have that world yet.

But all children deserve to be raised in a loving, safe, nurturing environment and so, with heavy hearts and many prayers we step up.  We choose that which we don't want because it needs to be done.  

So the next time someone says to you with that annoying attitude... "Well... you didn't have to do this... you chose to do this" remember and maybe even explain:
1. We never wanted to know that there were children in the world who have endured and survived what some of our children have endured and survived. 2. Not wanting to deal with all that fostering brings does NOT mean we don't love the children, and even enjoy them.
3. We don't do it because of the money, or the fun, or even the joy.  When the joy and the fun come they are welcome bonuses, rewards for the effort and the pain.

We do it [or at least I do it] because it needs to be done.  Because every child deserves to be loved, to be safe, and to know joy.  Be sad that not all children can/do get this from their own parents.  Be proud that this is something you choose, that you choose to give children that love, that safety and to teach them to see and feel joy.  We DARE to choose to foster parent and kinship care.

Image credits: blogs.hds.com, liz-green.com

Quick Takes: Yes Day PS

Yes Day  . . .  .
                       Important P.S.
So, I heard from a couple about the Yes Day idea and realized that I had omitted one key element in describing my family celebration of Yes Day.  When I have done Yes Day, I pose it as a day without "No"s.  That means not just from me, but from them.  The challenge is to get through the whole span of time without anyone saying the word "No." 

It's kind of like a team contest, with everybody pulling together to keep the word "No" away.  For example, that means that the kids "can't" say "No" to a parent request either!  [See how it can be a good thing?] You may find that kids will be helping you by discouraging a sibling from making a request that would require a "No" for safety reasons or other significant issue.

Not a single person [which is how to not ruin the day by saying "n_  one"] wants the Yes Day to end before the day is over.  It also helps children find more creative ways to word things than a flat "No".  "Would you like to do my chores next week dear brother?" one child might bait a sibling. "I would love to, but I am afraid that is impossible right now." might be the careful response. The game gets fun and while I wouldn't want it everyday.... for one Yes Day, it can be a lot of fun for everyone.


Image credit: mildlyrelevantthoughts.com, mysalestactics.com

Anything Can Happen: Yes Day?

A while back I got a book for my kids named Yes Day!  [by Amy Krouse Rosenthal,  pub:HarperCollins ].  It tells the whimsical story of a child who suddenly and unexpectedly is granted a day of Yes-es.  Imagine for a moment what we as adults would ask to do on a day when the answer to any question or request was automatically "Yes!" .....

Ok, stop imagining.... you are having way to much fun with the idea.  This book is about kids having that opportunity.  Now, I know that there are certain safety rules that must be followed. But, if you stop and think about it, and especially if you plan ahead, it is amazing how many of our "No"s can in fact be transformed into "Yes" es for a single day.  Thinks about creating a "Yes Day" for your child or children.

The first time I tried it, I didn't even tell the children what was happening.  I wanted to see how long it would be before they noticed that everything was getting a "Yes." It was great fun watching them be delightfully surprised, then when they started realizing what was happening, curiously testing their theory, then their unadulterated joy and exhuberance for the remainder of the day. [To be fair, the first time I tried I chose to start on a Friday afternoon to limit the time frame.] Thereafter  it has remained a rare delight, about once a year, never proclaimed in advance, but sprung on them on a day when the weather, the moods, and everything seems to give it the best shot at success.  Try it!  Let me know how it goes...  Anything can happen!

Holidays 101: #13- Different Dinner Out

Try on a new holiday tradition.  Think of someone in your neighborhood, or faith group, or circle of friends who is likely to be alone for the holidays.  While it may not be practical or best to have them come to you for the actual holiday/s, there is no reason not to show them your love anyway during the season.Work as a family to bring them a holiday meal and some holiday cheer! Give up one of your holiday meals to bring holiday meals to those otherwise alone.

1. Choose two or three people to visit. 

2. Kids can make cards wishing a good holiday and saying other nice things specific to the person. Parents can add a mention that you will be stopping by on [date] around [time]  to drop off some holiday food if it is convenient for them. Be sure to include your phone number in case they need to let you know they won't be home at that time. 

3. Go to a local dollar store and pick up a tray  [or a cookie sheet you can convert to a tray].

4. Buy some cute seasonal paper plates and plastic-ware. Fix the tray to look cheery and add a "thinking of you" place card with the person's name and more holiday wishes and compliments inside.

5. Working as a family put together a dessert or snack bag of goodies ahead and fix a special meal for the night stated.  Fix an extra supper plate for each person you will visit. Take the food, tray, dishes, utensils, cards.. and of course desserts with you.

6. Drive to each house chosen and make your delivery of greetings and tray of food.  Set it up for them on their table or next to their chair.  Maybe play or sing some holiday music or just shower them with holiday greetings and cheerful smiles.  Spend a few minutes with each person before heading on your way to the next stop.

7. On your way home, pick up a simple pizza for you to share for your meal.  Talk about the power of a simple hand in hand, a bit of holiday cheer, and a little effort can give an incredible message of caring.

Trust me, the joy of giving your evening meal to those who wouldn't have had one and bringing the holiday spirit to them will make that pizza taste better than almost any meal you could have had at home!

Focus on Fostering: Gratitude Journals

Oprah Winfrey was a vocal advocate for gratitude journals.. a way of tracking all of our blessings and focusing on them, being mindful each day of the good in the day.

Quite possibly no one needs the habit more than children in care.  They often have had so much loss in their lives, so much pain. They often think they deserve what has happened.  I once told one of my gremlins that "everybody deserves a happy childhood," only to be contradicted very quickly and firmly with a "Not me.  Other kids, but not me."

Learning to see the positive in their lives, to find things to celebrate, is a skill often harder to acquire than anything they study in school and a skill far more needed in life.

Try modeling it this Thanksgiving.  Take a small blank book and a pen and act as secretary for them.  Whether around the table or on a bed, or in a comfy chair...generate a list together of things to be thankful for... people, moments, events, small steps, big steps. Put the year at the top of the list.  Then over the next month talk about that list.  Bring it out now and then. Add to it when something good happens, be it a good day, or a good hour.  Write it down to both make it real and to preserve it. On New Year's Eve turn to a new page and write 2012 at the top. Continue your list and touching base with each other.

With luck and determination, by next Thanksgiving your child will be far more able to participate.  They will be beginning to absorb the idea of taking moments to celebrate success, the ability to recognize good things when they come.

Little by little, day by day they will learn a more positive view of life.  A more balanced view of their own lives.  They may never be "glass half full" people. But hopefully you can show them and lead them to see that their glasses are not empty, that their glasses can become fuller over time.

Gratitude can be a candle of light against the darkness of discouragement, despair, and isolation. Use this Thanksgiving to help them light the flame.


Image credit: avramgonzales.com, mentalhealthnews.com

Parenting Tips: Thanks Giving #1--- Modeling Gratitude

Happy November!  All kids have things for which to be grateful.  Sometimes they delight us with their enthusiasm. [I still remember the Christmas my four-year-old jumped up and down, gleefully saying, "Just what I ALways wanted!"...after every single present!!]

Gratitude doesn't always come as easily.  This November month I have decided to spend each Thursday Parenting Tip on ways to help children develop and maintain gratitude. Today... providing role models of noticing and expressing gratitude.

Our children need to see us celebrate goodness, appreciate kindnesses, and model those behaviors in front of them. Started early, children can develop the habit of noticing goodness, voicing appreciation, and celebrating good fortune.  As teenagers, it is easy to fall into the "my-life-stinks"-syndrome.  With bullying ever present adolescents can quickly develop an awareness of all the negative around them and almost blind to the positives.  They need our help to stay aware and grateful for the goodness around them. They need to hear us say how much we are warmed and comforted and uplifted by people who say "Thank You," who express appreciation, who show gratitude.

Let's try an experiment.  From now until next Thursday's post, let's everyone who reads this make a conscious effort to surround our children with gratitude in all forms, non-verbal, physical, written, pictures, hugs, smiles, words, everything we can. Gratitude that they see us express, see us experience, that they receive, etc. Every way that we can for one week.  Then next week we'll move them forward a different way. Working our way through the month of Thanksgiving we can try teaching the ACT of thanks-giving and the blessings of thanks giving rather than the history of Thanksgiving. By Thanksgiving Thursday let's see what wonderful changes and new understandings we may help create. Join me?


Image credits: debralschubert.blogspot.com

Soapbox: Weddings

This Sunday the youngest of my five daughters is getting married.  She is the youngest of my first family, the family my [ex]husband and I had, my family before I added four more. Some of you probably can barely imagine your children old enough to marry. Some may be there now or soon.  Like everything else, weddings have changed.

My wedding was in 1970. [shortly after dinosaurs roamed the earth if you ask my gremlins] My parents and his parents each made a list of guests and then he and I added some of our friends to the list.  My parents paid for the wedding [and they set the budget].  His parents paid for the rehearsal dinner.  I wore a long dress with long sleeves and my bridesmaids wore long above the elbow gloves.  I was radical because I chose white dresses [with colored trim] for my bridesmaids and did not include "obey" in my vows.  Keeping my maiden name was not even a consideration. We had to not only get a license, but take and pass blood tests in order to get the license. We got married in my hometown church, as almost everyone did then. [There were a few daring types who got married in fields in long musline dresses with flower wreaths in their hair but they were still the extreme, a trend just beginning.]

I fretted and wondered and worried about the honeymoon because, like "good girls" were supposed to, I had "waited" for marriage. I think my mother and I had had "the talk" though I don't remember it, and I had been given a booklet for brides and grooms [reading it now is laughable!], but even my married girlfriends would never discuss "that" sort of thing.

I got married 5 days after my college graduation and moved 5 states away to where my husband lived, rarely to return to my hometown. Married at 21, most of my friends were already married or marrying that year.  When I did not have a child for four more years, people were worried [including us] that something was wrong. At 25 I was the last of my circle to have a first child and people had been genuinely convinced I was either unable to bear children or that we had chosen not to have children.

So, all in all, I clearly was married in the dark ages.  Weddings, couples, and marriages are very different now and will continue to change as my grandchildren grow and marry.  But, the wonderful news is that they still feature two people deeply in love, eager to spend the rest of their lives together, full of joyful expectations, and with families that love them, and share their joy.

I am very blessed that my children have found [or been found by] life partners who bring them love, joy, and occasional silliness that will help them through the tough days that are a part of life. I enjoy their husbands and I enjoy what my children are with their husbands.  I delight to seeing them start family units of their own, with and without children, with a mixture of traditions borrowed and new, tweaked and adjusted, as they build their own adult lives.  I hope those aspects of marriage never change.

Image credits: favorsbyserendipity.com, sunflowerbaking.com