Parenting Tips: Buy now and save!

With Valentine's Day two days behind, most stores have now marked down their leftover merchandise.  This is a great chance for parents to dash out and pick up some goodies to parcel out on any number of occasions all year long.  [Of course you can also buy valentine sets and save them for next year's giving to elementary classrooms, but I mean more than that.]

Buy heart shaped boxes:  These can be used to fill with cheery, uplifting love messages to a child who is struggling or discouraged or feeling left out.

Buy heart stickers:  Use these to add at the bottom of anything from "I'll be home soon" messages to even chore lists!

Buy Red plates or bowls or cups  [I'll tell you about using those on Saturday.]

Buy heart shaped stencils: For decorating [and taking up space!] on thank you notes, letters, etc.


Buy heart shaped molds: for making everything from soaps to floating ice cubes.


Heart-Themed Candles/Mugs/Gifts:  Buy a bunch to keep on hand for unexpected hostess gifts, friendship tokens, etc. Mother's Day, Father's Day.. all kinds of occaionsYou can often also find hangings, mottos, etc. that speak of friendship and caring  to sotkc up on for unexpected occasions.

Heart or Love-themed craft projects/materials:  Same uses as the gifts already mentioned. One of my particular favorites is the collections of different size, shape and color foam hearts or wooden hearts!

So, what are you doing still sitting here reading?? Get going.... Take advantage of the markdown sales!   Valentine's Day is over, but the season for love-themed gifts is year round!

School Bell: School Valentine Surprise

Dig out or pick up some simple sidewalk chalk, get together some parents or kids or both and give your children's teachers an unusual valentine surprise as they arrive at school tomorrow. 

After the parking lot empties this afternoon, when all the teachers have gone, talk the chalk and fill the walkway at the entrance to the school with messages of appreciation and joy.

What a simple, inexpensive, but pricelessly wonderful way to greet the teachers and staff as they arrive on Valentine's Day tomorrow!

Piggyback idea: Be sure to take some photos.  Come Teacher Appreciation Day or even the end of the school year you can use the photos to make cards for the teachers.

Note: If you are reading this too late for Valentine's Day... use the idea for Teacher Appreciation Day, the end of the school year, or the first day of school.  Start a community tradition!

Image credits:  sidewalkchalk.com, uknow.drew.edu, everydayheartbeats.com

Holidays 101: #23- After the Gifts

Teaching kids to express thanks for their gifts is a teaching them a life skill.  It's not on any resume, but it surely is noticed in the workplace.  I've posted previously about easy ways to do actual thank you notes [Nov, 17, 2011 post] and even recommended a marvelous book about one man's experiment with thank you notes [Nov 26, 2011].

Holiday thank yous are especially easy if you plan a bit.
Here are a couple of options and ideas not covered in the Nov 17th post.

PLAN A:  

Write a list of the gifts the children receive from people outside the home.  Plan a time the day after Christmas to make a phone call to each person.  Have the kids primed and reminded of who gave what.  Do only one or two calls then take a break or the kids will lose spirit and you will lose the gratitude effect!

PLAN B:  
If you have a cell phone with photo and email capability, take a quick photo of the smiling child with the gift.  Help them send a quick thank you text with the photo attached to each giver. Again, do one or two at a time to keep the spirits cheerful.

MOTIVATIONAL IDEAS:

1- Make it a rule that after Christmas Day no child is allowed to play with, wear, or use a gift UNTIL they have completed the thank you for the gift!

2- No television, screen [computer, tablet, or phone] each day until at least two thank yous are done.

3- My favorite [because it is rewards based not punishment based]......Plan a special thank you celebration treat that is earned when all the thank yous are completed. [Maybe consider a family movie, game day, chore-free day, or other unusual treat.]

Last thought:

I still believe that nothing is as special to receive as a hand done thank you note such as those I discussed on Nov 17th, but hopefully the ideas above will make thank yous [written or otherwise] more prompt and less painful. No matter what the language, or what the method.... everyone appreciates a Thank You.         ......Good luck!

Image credits: sabahwomen.com, e-dirts.com

Holidays 101: #21- Last Minute Gift Rescues

Have you ever been half-way ready for a holiday and then suddenly gotten the flu and lost precious days? I have.  If so, you know what it is like to desperately need gifts that do not require you leaving the house to purchase, or the time to battle the last-minute crowds.  Here are a few ideas in each category that I hope will help.

Young kids...
--Lego gift cards online.... [Did you know they can even order piece by piece online?]
--gift card to fast food of choice
--pass for an activity [indoor funpark, kids museum, whatever]
--gift card for donut or bagel or breakfast spot

Mid kids...
--membership for a summer funpark
--museum membership [science, art, history, aquarium whatever their interest]
--certificate for lessons [karate, tennis, dance, whatever]
--certificate for the electronics [iTunes card, minutes for phone, for gamestore, whatever

Away from home kids...
--gift cards/certificates for pizza and sub delivery
--postage, envelopes, and address labels
--movie gift certificates [theaters or rentals]
--certificates to laundry services or mending services

Adults...
--trial audio membership  [audible.com is my favorite]
--local gym month membership  or sport center membership
--movie gift certificates [theaters or rentals]
--certificate for pampering [spa, massage, nails, hair, whatever] 

Family...
--calendar with birthdays and anniversaries labeled
--current photos
--gift card for dinner or movie out
--gift card for pool or family activity membership/event

Someone struggling...--grocery store gift card
--gift card for gas
--gift credit to their utility company
--gift card to a drug store/pharmacy/convenience store
--gift card for family activity membership/event

Image credits: sodahead.com, articles.nydailynews.com,






             

Holidays 101: #19- Rule of Four revised

Lately there has been a lot of buzz on blogs about the gift-giving "Rule of Four."  I have seen it so many places I have NO idea who to credit, and I find it a good start but missing two key pieces.  The pattern  rhymes and is easy to remember. It is--

                 Something they want.

                       Something they need.

                       Something to wear.

                       Something to read.
Not bad, is it?  There is some overlap possible, and it covers a good balance. BUT it leaves out a few things I consider key to great and balanced gift giving.....

As I have said in my last few posts, I think you also need to have something to do, something that people can do/share together, and something that is handmade or created or done for someone, not just things that are bought.  Sooooooo ... here is my revision of the Rule of Four.  You can still give just four gifts if you choose, but whatever number of gifts you choose, cover the following ideas.

Something they want

Something they need

Something to wear

Something to read

Something to share

Something to do

Especially nice is a

gift made by you.

Holidays 101: #18-Homemade Gifts

As an organist I am frequently called to play for funerals.  So, I have been to literally hundreds of funerals. I have seen flower bouquets, photo montages, displays of all kinds. I recently played for another Christmas season funeral... always tougher near ANY holiday.  For this woman they displayed literally hundreds of homemade ornaments which this woman had given her children, friends, grandchildren etc.

It got me thinking about how often there is a display of things the person made during their life.  Whether handcrafts, wood carvings, paintings, or what, people prize the gifts that have been made by the hands of someone they love.


NEVER have I seen a display of cherished things the person bought for them.

So, it may be too late for this holiday season, but it certainly isn't too late to start shifting our mindset.  Let's go back to the days of homemade gifts, of gifts crafted by our own loving hands for those we love. There is something very special, very magical, about holding something in your hand that was held in and created by their hands.

Let's teach our children not only by GIVING them handmade gifts, but by helping THEM give handmade gifts. Maybe you sew a pillowcase, or knit a hat, or build a play table, or paint a mirror, or create a game, or turn a can into a pencil holder. It doesn't really matter WHAT it is.  What matters is WHO made it, and the love they show.

PS: Less tangible homemade gifts are those of service rather than objects.  Gifts of DOing something for someone cost only time. [One of the most loved gifts I have seen was when one brother promised to do the other brother's chores for two weeks!]

Image credits: saidosdaconcha.blogspot.com, thesimpledollar.com, handmadecharlotte.com, craftjuice.com

Holidays 101: #17-Give Something to DO

Has this ever happened to you?...
Everyone has opened their gifts, wrapping paper is strewn everywhere.  You are about ready to start dinner as everyone seems happy and content.  You go into the kitchen and suddenly one of your children appears at your side with two words that you thought surely that day you wouldn't hear...
"I'm bored."  or it's companion.... "There's nothing to do"

One thing that I consider essential for gift giving occasion is something to DO. In my experience if there is no gift that engages the child in play or activity you are asking for trouble.  If they love to read, a book might work, but not unless they truly love curling up with a book.

As the giver of the gifts, this "What's next" attitude can be very annoying!  Recognize that children may become bored... even on a holiday!  If the house is full of relatives and chaos, boredom and "antsy-ness" are not avoided.  Children may need something to safely occupy themselves even more than in an empty house. [Maybe even quietly???]  Plus, let us not forget that the excitement and bustle of holidays and gifts are super-hyped in both the media and children's minds.  What could possibly live up to that?

Also helpful is something to engage people together.  Many activities today are solitary, marked by isolating headphones etc. This makes a gift that is used or done WITH someone is especially nice. Whether a game, or a project, or a puzzle, or what doesn't matter.  What matters is that it lets you give two gifts in one.  The gift itself, and the time spent with another person... especially if that person is you.

So, save yourself a headache and irritation this holiday.  Give something to do, and something that you can do WITH them if you possible can. Try to find a way to schedule the day so that for a part of it you can play with them, giving them that precious gift of attention.  That is far more important to them than a fancy dinner.

Image credits:  halfpastawesome.com, parentingclan.com, parentdish.co.uk, visualphotos.com

Holidays 101: #16 Long Distance Gifts

I have some family who live within hours, some who live on the other side of the country and even some on the other side of the world.  Here are some ideas that have brightened the holidays across the miles for me. [And they all fit inside a priority mail envelope!]

1. Photo ornaments:
I still cherish a set of photo ornaments I received ages ago. No they aren't photos on porcelain, tho I have seen lovely ones.  These were a set of free form shapes cut from card stock.  On each was a photo of a family member who could not come for the holidays.  Gold glitter edged each photo and a ribbon tie let each photo be placed on my tree and then later hung around my room. These two photos show similar efforts, although a bit fancier.

2. For Grandparents especially:

As grandchildren get more numerous and memory less dependable, making a family calendar is not only easy, but helpful too!  Pictures are a nice addition if you choose, but the key part is to put everyone's birthday and year they were born. [If they are especially forgetful, put a birthday alert on the calendar a few days ahead of each birthday so they can send a card in time!] Someone did this for me several years ago and it was a great help in remembering how old each grandchild was and whose birthday was when.

3. Recordings:

These are great for all kinds of occasions as Hallmark finally figured out! Years and years ago my father make a [reel to reel!] tape recording of him reading my brother's favorite bedtime stories to comfort my brother when he was stuck in bed sick.  Many years later we put a [cassette] tape recorder in the middle of the room to capture the chaos and excitement of the holiday by having all the kids sing some holiday songs and send holiday greetings. We then sent the recording to my parents, who I later discovered played the recording over and over each Christmas for years. Now with digital recordings and CDs the variety of options is even wider. The magic of hearing your loved ones voice never gets out-dated and a recording that you can hear repeatedly and over time is even more special. And of course now there is video too!.....Skype and phone calls are wonderful but making a lasting recording is an even bigger blessing.

4. Celebrate Memories:

Consider something like what I blogged about in last Saturday's Holidays 101 #11 [Give a High Five].  Find a way to capture and celebrate memories of the distant person, or of times shared together. Whether a mini-book, or a scrapbook, or even just a list, documenting the importance of memories and events that you value lets the person who receives your gift know how special they are to you. These are perfect long distance gifts whether for seasonal holidays or birthdays etc.

Holidays 101: #15-Teachers & Coworker Gifts

Here is a grab bag of ideas for teachers, helpers, coworkers and others... most able to bepicked up or ordered last minute...

 For those with a family:
1- How about making a filling a holiday bag with an assortment of holiday paper plates, napkins, plasticware, etc. to reduce the stress at home for the people who are working for you and still facing holiday stuff and responsibilities at home?
2- How about a gift certificate to a photo store for a family portrait?


For those with a known indulgence:
3- If you have kept your eyes and ears open you may know that your teacher [like me] cannot resist orange skittles, or  maybe loves to go to the movies. One of my favorite gifts from a student was a gift certificate good for three evenings of relaxation at the movies and a ziplock bag filled with ALL orange skittles!  It showed me that they had paid attention to me as a person, not just as a teacher and that they wanted me to be able to indulge myself.  [I have no idea how long it took to sort out just the orange skittles!]
4- Listen for clues an find a gift to match their personal interests... Would they love a chance to shop at a garden store?  A sports store? Have a membership, pass or gift card for a local museum, fun park, golf course, bowling alley, or other attraction?   

For computer/tech lovers:
5- Give them the fun of shopping for something special... whether an apple gift card for those who may have loved Apples since the Macintosh days,  or  one for a computer and game store to buy that longed for Wii or Playstation or Xbox accessory or game.
6- How about a gift of participation such as credits for entertainment sites such as audible.com [audio books] or netflix, or bargain sites like groupon or living social??

When in doubt:
7- Almost always safe gift certificates for teachers are those to a book store for readers or an office store...places that often eat up large portions of a teacher's discretionary spending.

8- In this day and struggling economy gift certificates for food stores, bakeries, even for electricity can be truly helpful and no longer are considered inappropriate. 


No more excuses... get going.  Make a connection and go for it! There's still time...

Holidays 101: #14- Beyond Building Blocks

Today I recommend cool options for  building for kids who already have the traditional wooden building blocks and are ready for a different kind of building...  each product with a key warning. 

1- Magnetix.  They come in all different size assortments. [17 pcs to 140 pcs!] The strong magnets allow kids to create shapes that can spin and twirl as well as stand or tower.  Start with a small set and if your child goes crazy for them, as one of my did, you may be adding to their collection literally for years!

Warning: Magnetix pieces are too small for toddlers so, if you have toddlers substitue  Jumbo Magneatos  which are a similar product but supersized so that swallowing is not a hazard.

2. A non-magnetic alternative is Zoobs.  These are snap together parts that work on a ball-joint principle.  Each kit comes with directions for assembling the zoobs into a variety of creatures [from turtles to chickens to raptors] and objects [chairs to wheelbarrows to helicopters].

Kids will create figures similar to animals and objects [ex cars] rather than buildings or geometric shapes.  The creations arms, legs, tails, etc. can be moved and shaped.  If you buy a more complex set, they can move on wheels or even be operated by remote control! [Sets for motorized cars, robots, etc.]

Warning! If you want to avoid frustration open the package before giving and when the kids are in bed  or at school, spend some time putting the parts together and taking them apart.  When they are brand new they can be very stiff and difficult for kids.

The time you spend breaking them in will pay off huge dividends when your kids open the gift and start to play. Once you have broken them in the kids will be less frustrated, will instantly adore them and will spend hours and hours making new creations and playing with them.

Note: The company also makes Zoob Jr. for younger kids with softer pieces. I have not tried the Zoob Jr set myself but the idea makes sense.

Holidays 101: #12-Science Starter

To encourage a budding scientist I recommend Elenco's Snap Circuits Jr. SC-100.  This kit [which I found for about $20] lets kids from 7 or 8 on up to make dozens of simple electronic projects using the direction book and the 30+ snap together parts.  

The parts snap together simply [almost a bit lego like] often with only a little help from grownups depending on the child's age.  The young scientists learn some basic principles of electronics as they figure out how to make a flying saucer fly, a doorbell ring,  a motion detector go off, and more.

Elenco makes three different size multi-project kits [ranging all the way up to $80] and individual project kits for between $10-$30. [The largest has over 80 parts and can complete over 750 projects!]

NOTE: If you plan to give this as a gift be sure to purchase 2 "AA" batteries so that the science can begin right away! No other tools, or soldering is required.

Also: Make the exploring even more fun by including a spiral notebook for taking notes and a disposable camera for documenting the projects as each is concluded.

And Don't Forget that girls can be budding scientists too!!

Holidays 101: #11 - Give a" High Five"

Whether the person lives far away or in your own house, this is a simple to do, yet deeply meaningful gift you can give that will be treasured for years by the recipient.  Give a person you love a very special, very personal, "High Five." This can be done by an individual or as a group project by a whole family. It can be done very simply and quickly or be made more complex and fancy..... either way, it is the personalized  content that makes this so special, not whether the handwriting is neat, or done by computer, or whether in a 99¢ notebook or done on fancy vellum and bound at an office store.

1. Take a small "mini journal" like those available soft cover in almost any dollar store.

2. Make a Table of Contents listing five chapters. [You can add the page numbers later if you wish]

  ---- Five things you love or admire about the person.

  ---- Five things would you enjoy or do  enjoy doing with the person.

  ---- Five words [or phrases] that describe the person.

  ---- Five memories you have of the person.

  ---- Five wishes you have for that person.

3. Write each chapter title on its own page.  [Add drawings or drawn borders if you like.]

4. Use a separate page for each  chapter list or [if you want a longer book and the pages are small] put each number item on a separate page making each chapter 5 pages plus chapter title page.

5. Add photos. Use a photo of the person at the front of the book and/or on the cover of the book. [Add a few pages of other photos scattered thru book if plenty of photos of the person are available. ]

6. Author's page. BE SURE to include a section at the end of the book with the names [and photos if possible] of the book's "authors" and the date [at least the year] of the gift. Have each person who contributed sign the page.

Optional Extras You Can Add: 
---a dedication page at the front, --- illustrate pagees or add drawings---more "Fives" to fit the person. [favorite foods, sayings, places, etc.] Be creative or be fast....either way:

Warning: This Gift Guaranteed to Delight !

Holidays 101: #9- Free Gifts

One of the challenges I have as a parent is teaching my cherubs that not all gifts need to be cost money.  Sometimes a favorite gift might actually be free.  [For example... I recently had a birthday and without question my favorite gift that day was totally free.  I had a day when I did not hear a SINGLE fight, cross word, insult, jab, or argument between my children.  They may have happened, but if so, not within my hearing or presence.  It made a Lovvvvely, c-a-l-m, day.  And it didn't cost them a single penny!]

Here is my Holiday 101 strategy for today... to help your children brainstorm free acts of kindness that they can give as gifts this season [or any other].

Build a family Kindness Katalog:

1. Be prepared with a big piece of chart paper or poster paper and a magic marker.
2. Gather the crew, explain the concept and get started.  The idea is for each family member to [one at a time] come up with things THEY would consider a gift if given, but that does not cost ANY money.  It might be a back rub, a day with no chores, someone else doing their chore for x days, choice of dinner, an extra bedtime story, breakfast in bed, ride to school on a rainy day, etc.
3. Any suggestion that at least two people think would be a good gift gets written down on the chart. [If the family is small skip the two people part.] Mom & Dad should participate too of course!
4. When the chart is done post it in a place of honor.
5. Anyone who would enjoy any of the suggestions puts their initial next to the idea.  That way the rest of the family can go to the posted Kindness Katalog for gift giving ideas. 

I recommend a planned brainstorming session with everyone there to get the Kindness Katalog started.  After the initial brainstorming session you can add to the Katalog anytime people have more ideas.

Motivation Hint: I sometimes "sweeten" the process by setting out a big bowl of candy "hugs" and "kisses." Each time someone comes up with an idea for the kindness catalog they can help themselves to one "hug" or "kiss" candy.  Skittles also are popular and fewer calories per idea! [I find this fuels the imagination AND the motivation to come up with multiple ideas.] Since I usually do this activity one night after dinner, the treats serve as dessert.

Holidays 101: #7... Ball of Whacks

Remember the Wedgits that I said older kids would play with out of sight?  Well, today's recommendation is a magnetic "toy" for those older kids. Called a "Ball of Whacks" the original was all red.  Recently they have added a blue version and a multicolored version.  The pictures don't really show what  can be done.  The "ball" allows nearly endless creative building and imagination.

The ball is made up of 30 magnetic pyramids so that you can pull out or move any piece and it will stick anywhere you chose on the remaining pyramids.   I can only imagine what you could come up with by combining different sets together.




 I did find a video on you tube that shows the Ball of Whacks in action creating animal figures.

Roger von Oech has also come out since then with a companion product the "X-Ball" which can be used independently or in conjunction with the Ball of Whacks.  I can't recommend this because I have not yet tried it and you know how picky I am about only recommending things I personally have used.  [Though I have heard a rumor that Santa is bringing the X Ball to a person in my home.... so stay tuned in January for a followup report!]

Both toys have won awards in the creative play categories. Both range from $20-$30 when not on sale.  Both come with books of suggestions [which kids mostly ignore in favor of their own independent explorations!].

P.S. Coming later in Holidays 101 are some far less expensive gadgets for those needing more of a fidget toy than a creative building toy.

Holidays 101: #6...Zingo !

Anyone looking for a great game to play with kiddos 4-8 years old, look no further...Zingo!  My old favorite was Barnyard Bingo. It only requireded four matches for a winning hand. It used four barnyard animals in different color tokens. Each player chose a color rack and tried to collect all four animals in "their" color.  The pull mechanism for "rolling" your token sometimes broke its spring, but my first kids loved it anyway. While it was available we went through three sets ourselves, and I bought countless others for gifts. Sadly,  Fischer Price discontinued it several years ago [I don't want to buy a used one online for $45!]  Finally Zingo! came on the scene from ThinkFun and saved me!

Zingo! Advantages:
1- Each game is SHORT, so attention spans and frustration levels rarely are an issue. Games are short so "Play again?" can be given a Yes several times.  Likewise the loser is likely to be able to get a rematch since the games go so quickly.
2- Each row is only 3 pictures not 5 of most bingo style games, Even cover the board only needs 9 picture matches.
3- Pictures are simple line drawings of familiar objects and there is also the written word below each.
4. The sliding mechanism is manageable even for small kids and in my house survived literally years of use without breaking... a major plus.

There are two levels of play possible with the game, and enough playing cards that swapping cards creates lots of options.  I have even used the 72 plastic Zingo tiles for playing the "Memory" game as well!

With a cost of less than $20, you can frequently find it on sale for closer to $15.  It's sturdy, small [easily packable] and a game that even siblings can often play together without adults once they know the game.
Try it!  I almost guarantee it will be a success.

School Bell: Teacher / Student Encouragement

By Halloween most school systems have finished their fall parent conferences.  For many they will be positive, for others they will confirm that a child is struggling.  This can be an opportunity to encourage both your student and his or her teacher with a small light-hearted token.

For the teacher... 
-- a roll of paper towels for their help in "cleaning up" or "tackling" the problem.
-- a short thank you note for their help in coming up with a plan for improving things.

For the student... 
-- a box of paper clips or rubber bands because "together we're are going to hold it together"
-- a pad of cute sticky notes to help you "stick with it"

[If you used one of these earlier in the year, choose a different one now.] The point is just to let both your child and the teacher know that the issues you discussed at parent conference are remembered and that they can both count on you to follow-through and help resolve the problem. The child needs to know that you will be there to help, not just to nag or scold.  The teacher needs to know that you can handle bad news as well as good, that you will work with them and with your child.

As a veteran teacher I can assure you that the teacher wants every single child to succeed. Happy, successful children are easier, more fun, and more rewarding to be working with each day. Experiencing success and feeling hopeful creates a wonderful synergy of energy and achievement in a classroom, regardless of where each individual starts the year. Working together as a team helps make that happen.

Focus on Fostering: Building a History

Children in foster care and even adoptive children often have few if any photos to remember and commemorate their childhood.  My first foster child came with one wrinkled photo of her with her step father, one of her as an infant, or her siblings, or anything.

One of the kindest things you can do for a foster child is help them start building a history through photographs.  Even if they are only with you temporarily, you can still give this amazing gift.

Start by taking a photo of them the day they arrive as a starting point. [Note: IF reunification with their  bio-family is a possibility you might take one of the child WITH your family and one WITHOUT your family, to give you options as you build their album]. 

Add to their history by taking photos of some of their accomplishments, things they can be proud of, milestones of development, favorites, habits, photos that will document their growth and personality.

Some idea starters:
Baby--smiles, finding their fingers, crawling, walking, etc.

Preschool: Building blocks, playing with playdoh, playground photos, eating favorite foods.

Elementary: learning to skip, jump rope, ride a tricycle or bike, other favorite things
Middle school: sports, extracurriculars, watching tv, on their cellphone, playing Wii

High School:  cooking, doing chores[?], learning to drive, afterschool activities, first job

For school age kids, add in ticket stubs, postcards of places they go, concert programs, clippings of their favorite singers, tv shows, movies etc. 

When every one else has photos of their personal history but you it is very isolating.  Give your foster child at least your piece of their history.


Image credits: blog.sfgate.com,dreamalildream.com, livestrong.com,life123.com