Focus on Fostering: Kids who are Hurt

I found this quote and posted it on my Pinterest board for foster/adoptive/kinship parents.  I think this is an unusual perspective that could be really helpful for kids who have been abused or mistreated over and over.

If the end seems a little too harsh for the particular children in your care, lighten it by saying "they are of little use" or " they are put aside" or something else.

For my kiddos I've tried "You are polished and ready to move forward."
and "You are polished and they are not needed"


AND.. In truth I think it would be helpful for kids who's hurts are more ordinary too.

Quick Takes: Super Moon Tonight

Don't forget to go outside tonight at moonrise with your kids and wonder at the moon. Make some memories... make an adventure of it!

Tonight is a once a year "Super Moon" when the moon comes closest to the earth. It will be 14% larger and 30% brighter according to scientists. This is particularly noticeable when the moon is near the horizon.

I've been told that it is an optical illusion that the moon seems so much larger when it is near the horizon than when it is full up and high in the sky.  My logical mind understands, but my eyes are still fooled!


For a video about tonight's Super Moon check out science.com You have to wait through a commercial first, but it has some beautiful photographs of previous super moons and explanation of super moons.



Images credit and thanks to: space.com, stefanoderosa.com, americandigest.org

Holidays 101: #8.. Remembrance

Today would normally be soapbox day so here is some different food for holiday thought. The holidays are  a time when we particularly miss people.  People from whom we are geographically separated.  People from whom we are emotionally estranged. Particularly people who have died and who we miss.

This holiday season remember and share stories of those you have loved and lost.  Keep their memories alive by your sharing. By sharing the stories, the memories, the pieces we hold onto, we keep their light burning.  It may seem as "holiday" as ringing holiday bells or caroling voices, but  this is a time to share, to remember, to celebrate and embrace the memories.  The warmth and light will warm our hearts just as surely as the people we miss did.

A year ago I learned of the death of a very special former student, Taylor Emmons.  I broke my habit and wrote a personal  post about Taylor. I did it because I was moved to by the flood of emotions and loss.  To my amazement it remains one of the most frequently visited blog posts of the almost 600 posts since I began.  It consistently is in the top 10.  I just saw that they have established a scholarship fund in Taylor's name at a school he attended in Florida after leaving Maine.  I wish there were some way Taylor's family could know how all those people who have read that post were also moved by hearing about Taylor's life, or more accurately by the way he lived his life.

Reach out to those you may know who have experienced loss.  Listen to their sharing, their stories. Stories of holidays together, of ordinary times together.  Families and friends often gather during the holiday season.  Maybe take some time this holiday season to share the stories of those you have loved and miss, of those who your loved ones still miss. Take time from the holiday bustle to pause, to remember, to share.

Focus on Fostering: Building a History

Children in foster care and even adoptive children often have few if any photos to remember and commemorate their childhood.  My first foster child came with one wrinkled photo of her with her step father, one of her as an infant, or her siblings, or anything.

One of the kindest things you can do for a foster child is help them start building a history through photographs.  Even if they are only with you temporarily, you can still give this amazing gift.

Start by taking a photo of them the day they arrive as a starting point. [Note: IF reunification with their  bio-family is a possibility you might take one of the child WITH your family and one WITHOUT your family, to give you options as you build their album]. 

Add to their history by taking photos of some of their accomplishments, things they can be proud of, milestones of development, favorites, habits, photos that will document their growth and personality.

Some idea starters:
Baby--smiles, finding their fingers, crawling, walking, etc.

Preschool: Building blocks, playing with playdoh, playground photos, eating favorite foods.

Elementary: learning to skip, jump rope, ride a tricycle or bike, other favorite things
Middle school: sports, extracurriculars, watching tv, on their cellphone, playing Wii

High School:  cooking, doing chores[?], learning to drive, afterschool activities, first job

For school age kids, add in ticket stubs, postcards of places they go, concert programs, clippings of their favorite singers, tv shows, movies etc. 

When every one else has photos of their personal history but you it is very isolating.  Give your foster child at least your piece of their history.


Image credits: blog.sfgate.com,dreamalildream.com, livestrong.com,life123.com

School Bell: September 11th School Slide Show

Pearl Harbor Day was indelibly etched in the minds and hearts of the country on Dec 7, 1941.  September 11, 2001 was also etched.

I was teaching 5th grade at the time. As part of our response my class started a project to send cards to the workers at Ground Zero.  In less than a week our  class and a few others had created over 300 individual cards and letters and I drove from Maine to NYC one weekend to deliver them. I took photos during the time in NY and made a power point slide show for my students and their parents. The focus is on the compassion and the response across the country and world to the events of 9/11.  There are no photographs of the World Trade Center buildings collapse. [There is one slide that shows pictures posted on an outdoor board of one of the fire trucks at Ground Zero and there is one slide of a dump truck carrying concrete fragments. ] I wanted the children to focus on the shared compassion and kindness and the sense of one-family that grew out of the tragedy.

Because of my class' desire to connect with the rescuers there are photos of them and description of how I met and talked with them.  My class went on to send packages and notes almost weekly to one particular firehouse and one particular police officer for the entire school year.

Brownies, salt water taffy, cookies, class-made sea glass ornaments from sea glass gathered off our beaches, photos, patches, flags, all kinds of things went back and forth in the boxes and letters between the firehouse, the police units, and my group of 5th graders in Maine. And the children got letters several times a month in return.  I am still in touch with two of the letter-writers ten years later! There was also a second visit to the firehouse by me in the spring, and a June 2002 trip to Maine by one of the firemen correspondents to meet the students that had become friends over that year. He has made return visits as well... including his honeymoon!  The students learned the power of even a ten year old to make a huge difference even in the middle of enormous events and learned the human side of both tragedy and compassion.

Click here to get to slide show. The slide show link will be on the right hand side of your screen when it opens just below the clickable Power Point download. I hope you will view it and enjoy this slightly different perspective of 9/11 on this 10th anniversary.

A GREAT online resource forparents and teachers of  kids grades 5-12 offers  "inspiring stories of individuals who were directly impacted by September 11, 2001 and who, in response, developed projects to help make this world a more peaceful, tolerant place."  They can be found at the World Trade Center Toolkit with videos and even lesson plans.

Caring Heart: 9/11 plus ten

9/11 plus Ten

Ten years.  It has been ten years.  It seems like yesterday and yet forever ago.  My little guys barely remember 9/11.  Ten years ago tragedy struck and for a magical time the whole country was united in compassion and caring.  Yes, there was patriotism.  Yes their was anger and in some a desire for revenge.  But mostly, in the days and weeks that followed there was compassion. People of all ages rushed to help, rushed to support each other, sent messages of any and all kinds.

I can't do a regular Caring Heart meditation today. [Tomorrow I will reflect and share a slide show I made ten years ago for my students after a visit to New York.]  But today I want to celebrate the compassion that was in everyone's caring hearts ten years ago.  I want to pray that we recapture that compassion and never ever lose it. I don't want us to forget the pain and heartbreak and shock of the events of ten years ago. But even more I don't want us to forget the compassion, the unity, the caring and empathy. Ever.

Ribbon image from a photo I took in NYC near Ground Zero September 2011

Caring Heart logo art  by Anna Parker David from the book cover "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker   

Focus on Fostering: Ghosts of Past Lives

I was reminded recently of the amazing power, and fluidity, of a child's memories.  Think back to some of your favorite childhood memories.  For me one memory is picnics on a place we called "Buttercup Hill" because it was blanketed in waving yellow buttercups.  I remember all the times my family would go there for Saturday or Sunday picnics.  It was only when I was in my 50s and mentioned the memory to my parents that I discovered we had only gone there two times!  The memory is so vivid and complete in my mind, that I almost argued with them. Surely we had gone more often, frequently even? No, only twice. Yet in my mind it happened all the time. Even now, knowing the reality, in my mind it is a favorite childhood pastime.

Unfortunately unhappy childhood memories can be just as vivid... and sometimes just as fluid.  I remember a 6-year old foster child who bolted, screaming down the hall of the elementary school, finally hiding and cowering in a janitor's closet, behind a mop.  When all was settled and over we realized that the assistant principal [who he had been trying to escape after a casual "Hello there"] was a quazi-lookalike for the social services worked who had three years earlier taken him screaming out of his mother's arms and taken him in the department's "care."  Anyone who has seen someone with PTSD flashbacks can understand the child's reaction.

More recently a teenage foster child had an unyielding negative attitude toward a well-intentioned, kind individual. Complaints about bossiness, yelling, etc. etc. etc. were a constant flood from the child.  When we discovered that the individual bore a resemblance to the child's abusive parent, we had no solution, but we did have the answer to why.

Remember the illustrations of "mother" and "father" in baby books and toys?  Think how basic the image is.  Small wonder that a child who was abused at a very young age might have memories of earlier abuse triggered by someone with only mild similarities to the actual abuser.

As foster parents, be on the lookout for warning signs of these emotional flashbacks. Don't suggest them to the child, but don't shut them down if it comes up. Be prepared.

Image credits:  spiritblogger.wordpress.com, clipartof.com

Soapbox: Preparing for Disaster

As I write this a hurricane seems headed for the Southeastern US coast and will be hitting the Bahamas even sooner.  Unlike tornados, we have warning about hurricanes today, at least in the U.S. What a blessing the gift of time to prepare is!  What would you do if you had a day to get ready for disaster. Think about it.  Because whether hurricane, forest fire, flood, or other, disaster can happen to anyone, anywhere.

Generally we have little control over a disaster.  Sadly, the part we can control we usually don't.  We CAN control how prepared we are.  Is it because preparing makes us think about the possibility of disaster?  Is it because starting to prepare shows how unprepared we catually are?  Whatever the reasoning... lack of preparedness is not a good plan.  Here are my three basic packets,

SURVIVAL PACKET:
Water bottles for 3 days of water for the whole household.
Dry or canned food that can provide noursihment without being cooked or refrigerated.
MEDICINE for 3-5 days.

KEY INFO PACKET: plastic folder/envelope with a copy of all your credit cards [front and back], copy of SS card, driver's license, birthcertificates of kids, medical emergency info and contact info for family members. In addition to banking account info I try to keep a smallish amount of cash in this packet as well.

HEARTHBREAK PACKET:
Think of the photos of people and places that you would be heartbroken to lose in a fire or flood.  Make one album with a picture of each of those people, places, or events. First home, grandparents, wedding, baby, whatever. Same for jewelry or other small posessions.  If they are too large to take, take photos of them and put the photos in the album. This will help preserve the emotional ties and memories, often the biggest loss in a disaster.

Make it fit YOU and your family.  Ex: I am a writer, so in my heartbreak packet is also a flash drive [ok, several] with a copy of my most crucial computer files and photos. I also have a flash drive with a video walk-through of my house inside and out for emergency insurance purposes.


These three packets aren't sufficient for true preparedness. But, the food and meds are in a specifc place and the info and heartbreak packets are together in one backpack with a couple of water bottles and nutrition bars that in a pinch I could grab and run with only two minutes warning.

What are your essentials?
                         What have I forgotten?
                                              What ideas can you share?

Image credits: southerngirlacademy.wordpress.com, mylot.com, storageoffood.com, internetstationers.co.uk

[Note: As I was writing this in Maine, I felt queasy...later discovered what I was feeling was the earthquake tremor residue of the Virginia quake!..eerie given the topic I was writing about! GP]

School Bell: Before School Starts- pt 4..Paper Piles

Today is the next last School Bell before my gremlins start a new school year.  You may be beginning this week or in may regions may have already begun.  So, the topic today is clearing the debris and safeguarding the celebrations of last school year and preparing a space for this year's celebrations, accomplishments, and..yes... even debris. If at all possible do it in tandem with each child, using the opportunity for reflection on the past year, dreaming and goal setting for this year, and hopdfully start some self-fulfilling prophecies of a good kind. 

You don't have to do it my way, but it does help keep clutter down, and preserve at the same time. [In my Nov 2, 09 and Sept 2, 2010 blogs I wrote about my filing system for school work.] If you have a different system fine... in fact please share your system.. we can all use new ideas! But whatever system you use, try to accomplish these four steps during this week.

1. Gather and sort through all the random papers, projects, reports, and evaluations from the last school year.  Choose what to save and what to let go.  Don't just save the best work, but also some that will show progress in a later year.  Be sure to save something as a handwriting sample. Be sure to save at least one report card from the year. If you already did this, just check through it as you do step two.





2. Label every sheet that you keep with the child's name and the school year.  You will NOT remember years later which year, or even which child, unless you do it as each year passes, believe me!

3. Preserve..Put all the "saves" into a single folder or container and add key info such as grade level, teacher's name, and school attended at the very least.  Adding extra info about activities, best friends, etc. will also be something enjoyed later if you can do it.

4. Anticipate the coming year.  Label an empty folder or container with this school year and place it where it can be easily used throughout the coming year. If possible, have each child put on their back to school outfit and take a picture if them.  Trust me, it is much easier to do the week before school than in the first day rush! Maybe even have each child hold a sign with the coming school year or grade level. Add this as the start to their new folder [or cover decoration].

You're almost there.... Next Monday .... introductions

Image credits: containerstore.com, illustratorvector.net, ladybugsteacherfiles.blogspot.com

Anything Can Happen: Great American Campout !

I am writing this  and the next few entries ahead because I leave at 4 a.m. today to fly to Mobile to the NFPA Annual Conference and will be gone until late Tuesday. So, I am borrowing today's entry for the NWF website that told of an exciting event I commend to all of you.  I know, some of you think.."Me? Camping?" but think about it.  Think of the magic it can bring your children.  Check out the website for details and give it a try! With thanks to the NWF.....

It is almost here !!!

There is still time to join National Wildlife Federation's Great American Backyard Campout^® June 25 for a night of old-fashioned fun outdoors. If you can't camp on the 25th, register and get outside on any night that is convenient for you. Just open the door and sleep under the stars!

Register your "team" of campers, join a "team" of campers who have already registered near you, or simply donate to a camper, a team or make a general donation to our mission.

Not only will your family experience the wonders of the great outdoors, but you’ll raise funds for vital NWF programs to get American kids outside — one night can make all the difference.

It's family fun with a purpose: helping American kids benefit from outdoor time. The clock is ticking, so   Register Now! >>>

Credits: National Wildlife Federation [www.nwf.org]

Anything Can Happen: Celebrate Dad

Catch photos of him playing
with the kids...

My anything can happen today is a collection of photos chosen from those I found online of Dads.  My suggestion is to start today to make a collection of photos yourself of the dads in your life or your kid's lives.  Think of the fun photo album you could give to Dad next year on Father's Day!

Doing "Dad stuff" like reading to the kids

Halloween often offers funny possibilities

You can plan photos that will look daring.

If you keep a camera handy you might
 catch them in a silly moment.

Sometimes you can dare them to be silly
and catch the moment 

 

If he is sleeping you can add props to make funny photos!

P.S. Be sure to include some heartwarming ones along with the embarrassments!
You might even include some culled from years past if you are putting together a collection for him.
Remember.... a book like that would be a treasured gift for birthday, holiday as well as Father's Day.

Image credits:  ehow.com, myspace.com, brittanyphotography.com, northshorechildren.com, san-diego.siggraph.org, weird-websites.info, zacklawrence.wordpress.com,
kimandjason.com

Parenting Tips: Student Interviews [Year Folders]

On Monday I talked about helping your child transform their mountain of accumulated papers from the school year into a simple folder representing their year. I promised other ideas for enhancing that folder with memories of the that year in your child's life. By doing these once a year, you can have a lifelong "scrapbook" of their lives in simple folders. Here are my five top ideas:

1. Make a handprint/Trace their hand: 

Nothing fancy. Just trace it or print it AND be SURE to put name and date on it. Add height and weight if you like.  [Later if you are crafty these can be turned into a quilt by using each hand print to make a quilt block pattern, or each one can be copied and made into a book for their children to compare against each year. ]

2. Add 4-5 photos:  

Most families take lots of phone/camera pics that languish on SD cards or in computer folders.  Pick several that feature the child to keep in the folder and represent that school year/age.  

Ideas:

       a. holiday picture of child 

       b. picture of child doing a favorite activity  [sports, playing a game, even reading or watching tv]

       c. child with a favorite friend 

       d. child with favorite toy/object

       e. child with pet

       f. whole family

       g. child and accomplishment [certificate, ribbon, recital, playoff, skill]
h. anything unusual [chicken pox, broken arm, mumps]

3."Interview" your child: You may be able to do it without them, but you will have more fun if you make this part of a you and your child lunch event. Use the same basic questions/categories each year so that later when they look back they [and their future children!] can see the ages and stages they went through. Ideas:

     a. What was the most fun you had this year?

     b. What was the hardest thing you did this year?

     c. Who are your best friends this year?

     d. What is your favorite thing to do indoors?

     e. What is your favorite thing to do outdoors?

     f. What skill or activity did you learn to do this year?  [or get better at this year]

     g. If you could meet any famous person you chose, who would you like to meet?

     j. What is your least favorite thing about yourself?  [If you could change/improve one thing?]

     i. If you could meet and talk to any famous person you chose, who would you like to get to know?

     j. Who do you hope to be when you grow up?

4. Make a recording of your child: If you also record your child's voice you and they [and maybe their children] will also have the fun later of hearing your child's voice change as they get older. Always start with their name and the date that you are making the recording! They can sing a song, recite the ABC's or as they are older you can record the "interview." [Remember to still always write down or type the answers and stick the pages in the folder.] Just be sure that you keep up with the technology or you will have the equivalent of an 8-track recording tape in an MP3 world.  Transfer the recordings to new technology as it develops, while you still can. 

5. Make an evolutionary "chart" of your child.  

Take a photo of them "growing" by taking a picture each year  in front of a standard room door or front door, showing the doorknob in the photo.  Unlike trees or bushes, doors are a standard height so will show the growth year after year. If you have the child hold a sign with the date, grade [or at least the year] each time, it can make a more fun display later.

Image credits: kundhi.com, keep3.sjfc.edu, jeffreyalanmiller.wordpress.com, brokenlaces.net, aclaimimages.con

Parenting Tips: Start a Life Record!

Today's parent tip is one I wish I had done with each of my first children.  Please PLEASE please start it today for each of yours. You won't regret it and it will bring years of helpful information and joy along the way. Make a L.I.F.E. record/book for each of your children. [You may even want to put on together for yourself looking backward!]

What is a L.I.F.E. record? 

It is a List of Important Facts and Events.

1. Get a notebook 
     ANY notebook... you can always make a pretty one or fancy one or computerized one later. For now the most important thing is to start!
     Get a notebook.

2. Set up your child's L.I.F.E. book:
     • Put your child's name in the front and skip 5 pages.
     • At the top of the 7th page write the year your child was born.
     • On the top of the 8th page write the next year.
     • Continue, writing one year at the top of each page until you get to the age they are now [ or keep going to 21, 25, or even 30]

3. Start filling in your child's L.I.F.E. book:

     • Go to the year 2011 and write the name of your child's teacher, the school they attend. 

     • Write their height and weight [I know it's not Jan 1st, but trust me when they are 30 and looking back they won't care that it was measured in March not January! 

     • IF you want, write one sentence about what they like/hate right now or what they are best at right now. [Ex: Loves or hates Justin Beiber or Twilight or whatever.]

     • Limit yourself to ONE sentence... maybe even a sentence fragment... this is a list, not a full biography!

4. Keep it going forward each year once you have started. 
    • When your child earns their first money [babysitting, shoveling, whatever].... write in on a line of that year's page.
   • When your child goes on their first date.... write in on a line of that year's page.
   • When your child learns to swim/ride a bike/drive a car.... write in on a line of that year's page.

5. In random moments you can grab,  start back-filling in your child's L.I.F.E. record.

    • On the page with the year your child learned to walk, write that in on a line. 

    • On the page with the year your child started school, write that [and the name of the school, maybe even teacher] on a line.

    • Did your child ever break an arm?  Write in on a line of that year's page.

IF you want to write more than "just the facts" about these events, DON'T write it on the L.I.F.E. page.  Write it on the empty back pages of the L.I.F.E. book [or even on extra paper or in another notebook] marking the year at the top of each. At some point later, you can make an overal L.I.F.E. binder, using notebook binder dividers to mark off each year. Photocopy the L.I.F.E. pages. Put the original L.I.F.E. pages as the first section. Then put the photocopy of each as the front page in each year section. Behind that year "index" put your pages with anecdotes, photos or stories for events of that year.

Remember, sometimes MORE is less helpful, because it may distract you from the usefulness of a simple, list form, scannable survey/summary of your child's L.I.F.E.

Focus on Fostering: Good Things - Bad Things

If you are raising children who spent their early years in a home with inadequate care, and especially if it was abusive, you know how hard it is for some children to move past that time and learn to redefine themselves.  Children who are old enough to remember the abuse and neglect often they see themselves as victims, or lash out at everyone, etc. If I had a dollar for every time one of my charges cried, "You don't understand how hard a life I've had," I would be wealthy. It's true though. I don't understand.  After years of trying everything to help them I found something that didn't cure, but did help them limit.

For the children who struggled with those memories I decided to try a twist on the now popular "gratitude journals"  blended with my life record idea. I started by keeping a 3-ring binder journal for them, then when they were able or interested I turned the journal over to each of them.  But until they can keep it themselves, each time they told me a memory I would grab the journal and write it down for them. I divided the journal [using regular notebook dividers] into each year of their life. I also made one extra section for the "clump" of memories that were before they lived with me, but not individual years [because some memories they didn't know what year].

I found that by writing the memories down, it robbed the memories of some of their power. It also shows them that we recognize the past they experienced. We don't pretend it didn't happen, or expect them to. But the other piece is that I also have them write down GOOD memories, past , and especially present ones. We start teaching them that if you are going to hang on to memories of the bad things that happen in life, you have a responsibility also to recognize and remember the good things. 

Little by little they begin to see that current life has more goods than bads.  Little by little they learn to recognize that those nightmares, those bad memories are a part of their PAST life, not the present. This helps them to define themselves more by the present than the past, a crucial key to resilience and recovery. 

Focus on Fostering: Divided Loyalties revisited

Children in foster care miss their parents.  Adoptees may miss their birth parents. Whether children being raised by others miss the parents they had or the parents they wish they had, they miss their parents.  Even when a parent has abused or neglected or traumatized their child, that child will still miss them when separated.  They are still their parents. As hard as it is for new foster parents to understand, all children want to be loved by their birth parents.  Yes, their birth parent may have abandoned them, have given them up for adoption, or even have been taken away for their own safety.  But they still want to be loved by them. 

This desire is almost like a primal drive, a primitive need, that all children have. When you stop and think about it, how wonderful it is that the drive to love and be loved can survive so much.  But as foster or adoptive parents, we must remember that these children still want birth parents to love and have loved them. 

Imagine how this interferes with attachment and bonding for adoptive children, long term foster children, or even temporary placements!  The more they begin to connect and attach to a new set of parents, the more they may feel torn. They may feel guilty for loving or attaching to new caregivers, thinking it is disloyal to their birth parents. This may result in anger, resentment, detachment, and more.  If there is still an ongoing connection with the birth parents it is more in your face perhaps, but don't think that if there is not an ongoing connection that the feelings aren't still there.  Even children who were adopted basically at birth often experience some of these feelings when they become aware of birth parents somewhere "out there." 

Remember... No matter how much you love you give your foster or adoptive child, no matter how attached you become, no matter how much they love you or attach to you, you cannot expect to erase the place in their heart or mind that still wants to be loved or have been loved by their birth parents.  

The good news... Just as any parent of more than one child will tell you, love is expandable. Just because you love your first child, doesn't mean you love your second child less.  Each child is loved for his or herself. There is no more or less, just different.  Why should it not be true for caregivers and parents as well?  Your adoptive child may always have a part that wishes and wonders what it would have been like if the birth parents had kept him/her and may hold a fantasy of it. But that does not have to take away an iota of the love they hold for the people who did raise them, did care for them, did hold a long term place in their heart. True, it will be reality based, rather than fantasy. They will remember the arguments in adolescence, the toy you didn't buy them as a child, etc.  Few fantasies include such details. But the love and connection between you is also more real and [even when they may fight it] will be remembered. You worked to keep that heart intact. 

Image credits: illustrationsource.com, webheights.net

Caring Heart: Saying "I Love You"

What else could I choose for the meditation on the day before Valentine's Day than this.  Saying "I love you" is so simple for most children.  Said from the heart by a child in care it can be a prize beyond measure.

"I love you."

He meant it. He said the words, "I love you."  He said them first.  Not after we said it to him.  He said it first.  It was so wondrously special.  Not because it was the first time he said it.  He has said it before.  When he first came he said it all the time.  Automatically, like some people say, "Have a good day." Said it without really understanding what it is supposed to mean.  Said it without meaning it.  He knew it.  We knew it. But he said it anyway.  They he didn't say it at all for a long time.  Then it gradually reappeared.  Like tiny glowing fireflies at night, a mment here and another moment there.  But unlike fireflies, it always came in response to something.  Response to us saying, "I love you."  An over-the-shoulder response to the school bus' arrival.  Or, because he was heading to bed, or saying goodbye.  This was so different. Unexpected.  Without particular reason.  He just walked in and said, "I love you guys."  Then, seeming shyly and embarrassed added, "I just thought you should know."  He said, "I love you."  He meant it.  

Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker      Artwork by Anna Parker David from the book cover. 

Anything Can Happen: Free Week on Maine Coast!!!

Yes, you read it right!  I am letting you know about a fantastic contest for a free week at an amazing home right on the water of Maine's amazing rocky coast, just outside Portland. The home is fully furnished, 3 bedrooms, and a panoramic view that you have to see to believe!  [This photo from the deck is just a taste of the 180 degree views.]

Details are on the house's website:  www.maine-seascape.com
After you check out the home page, click to news and views for the contest details. The week is April 2-9, 2011. I know the house is amazing and the contest is on the up and up because the house has been in my family for decades, converted to a rental after my folks died.  Though I will not be judging the entries personally, I am excited that we are going to continue our tradition of finding unique ways to offer the peace and tranquility of Seascape to people who could not otherwise afford it!

All it takes is 1-2 paragraphs and "Wish" in the subject line and you and your family and or friends could be having an amazing respite on the Maine coast.  True, in April there might be snow or there might not.  2010 April was gloriously spring-like here but one never knows.  [It is a year round house, don't worry.] The website has tons of photos, comments from previous guests and more.

Go for it! If you can't go, but know of someone who deserves this treat getaway, send them this info and have them apply. You [or they] could be sitting at Seascape looking out the living room windows or deck at the Two Lights Lighthouse made famous by the Edward Hopper painting, or driving three miles to walk around famous Portland Head Lighthouse.The deadline is in a few weeks.  Check out the website and if you have any questions, let me know!
Good luck!!!!

School Bell: A great Thanksgiving Read Aloud!

Gather the family for a great read-aloud and begin a Thanksgiving tradition!

In 1881 Louis May Alcott [of later Little Women fame] published a short story titled An Old Fashioned Thanksgiving. It is a delightful picture of a family of children left alone who decide to prepare a full Thanksgiving feast by theselves... with predictably amusing results.  I have used this wonderful story for years with children both at school and at home. I found that sometimes kids were slow to get into the story  [I explained unfamiliar spices] but once the mistakes began happening, they truly enjoyed listening, and couldn't wait to see how things all turned out. My kid's favorite is the currently available new Alcott/Wheeler illustrated version [above] though I also like the available used  Alcott/McCurdy version with its woodcut illustrations [below] .  

The School Library Journal review wrote:
"When their parents are called away to care for an ailing grandmother, seven children continue preparations for the family's Thanksgiving meal, hoping to surprise and cheer their parents on their return.  And although the plum pudding is rock-hard and the turkey stuffing bitter, the children's efforts are appreciated, and the holiday gathering is enjoyed by all.  A high-spirited, good-humored account of rural, 19th-century New Hampshire Thanksgiving, this story demonstrates Alcott's belief that health, and work, and cheery good will are of greater value than wealth and position.  Her description of children gives the impression that she both understood and liked them."

LINKS: You can download the text free online: http://www.ibiblio.org/eldritch/lma/oft.html   or at  http://classiclit.about.com/library/bl-etexts/lmalcott/bl-lmalc-old-fashion.htm     You can also find a version with music box background: http://www.victorianas.com/thanks/alcott.html    

WARNING:  Be aware...the Hallmark TV movie may be based on the original and may be wonderful BUT it makes BIG additions to the story. They add jealousy, romance, a bitter estrangement, widow the mom, etc. etc. etc.  Read the original!

fhttp://www.amazon.com/Old-Fashioned-Thanksgiving-Picture-Books-Activity/dp/0824956206/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1290002107&sr=8-2