Anything Can Happen: Bike

Note: Today is Anything Can Happen Day and I hope that good things are in store.  At 6:15 this morning I headed off to South Carolina for a Writers Conference where I hope to make some connections for my two books in progress. I hope all of you will wish me luck for the next five days of travel and workshops.  I have pre-written my blog entries so there should be no interruption, but keep your fingers crossed for me!

Today's image is a most unuusal bike design.  When I taught in public schools I used to be struck by all the single shoes and sneakers that would appear in the lost and found.  How does a student arrive with two shoes on and somehow go home with only one?  While this bike may not explain the phenomenon, it may offer a use for all the unmated shoes!

Image credits: jayjanner.wordpress.com, bestweekever.tv, the dailydave

Dishonest Children

This month I have been working especially hard on a book with a cowriter named Pat Miller. We have known each other for years in the parenting training and foster parenting circles. We have been working on this book for almost three years now. [Why so long? Did I mention she lives in Texas and I live in Maine?] I think we are just about ready to start shopping it around to publishers. The book is tentatively titled The Dishonest Child: A Practical Plan to Reduce Lying and Stealing. Lots of books address problem behaviors and usually include a section on lying and/or stealing. They seldom go beyond motives and often simplistic advice to reduce the behavior. We start with the motives and move through specific, detailed steps for helping children who are chronically dishonest.

Parents almost universally list honesty as one of the keys traits they hope to instill in their children yet research shows that lying and stealing are common to a huge percentage of children. We have filled our book with examples from real life families: foster, bio, adoptive, and step. We have long since given up on using current examples of celebrities caught in lying or stealing because the list seems to change every news cycle.

I think I will start to include [every once in a while] snippets from the book in this blog. It seems silly to cover other problems and ignore the one I am writing a book about. But... I would also like to extend a cyber-invitation to my blog readers. If any of you are struggling with this in your homes or just interested in this issue and would be willing to be a reader for our manuscript, please let me know. You would have the fun of reading a work in progress and perhaps giving feedback that would make it better or a comment/response that could be used in promoting the book to potential publishers. In any case, the invitation is there if anyone is interested, let me know...

Off to Nashville....Wish me luck

Well, dear blog followers, tomorrow I leave for a week, well a school week anyway. Five days away from my cherubs and their challenges and their joys. I am headed to Music City....Nashville, Tennessee. Why? you ask? I am headed for the only national conference on independent living. It focuses on the needs of children aging out of foster care into the wild world, and how to equip said kiddos for a successful transition. Sponsored by Daniel Kids of Florida, I found it online and decided to attend this one rather than the regular foster care conference because of its focus. On top of that, I am actually presenting a workshop there. The workshop is called "Build Your Own Parachute" and will [hopefully] teach foster parents how to use independence trunks, independence notebooks, and practice apartments to prepare their charges for a successful transition. Getting everything ready and set for presenting has kept me busy and offline for over a week, but I think I am ready. I even managed to put all my workshop handouts in pdf form onto CDs so that participants can carry home a CD rather than a stack of papers. Wheee... score one for the trees and the environment!

I am going with the world's scariest looking splint still on my hand. I am sure its wires and contraptions will make the airport security people scurry about and will set off countless alarms. Getting ready and going would be much simpler if I had the cooperation of that still pretty useless hand. The porters and bell boys will profit from my inability to pull the bags of books etc. that I am taking.

This will also be the debut of my new book, The Caring Heart Speaks. Hot off the press I am hoping that it is well received. That is something like hoping everyone thinks your baby is cute. Of course, you aren't trying to sell your baby. All the locasl folks have made the appropriate oooh and ahhhhs about the book, but this will be the first roll-out not in home territory. All in all, a slightly intimidating looking week. I'll be out of touch until I get back. Wish me luck...see you soon...and if any of you happen to be going to the same conference...Say Hello!!

Almost a real book

Woo hoo! The proof copy of my newest book arrived via FedEx this morning. Easy proofing this time around, because the pages were provided to them camera ready so pretty much all I have to check is the cover [which I adore], so I just need to make sure it looked the way it should and then get it sent back approved.

This book has been a special project for me because it is the first I have written specifically for foster, adoptive and kinship parents. It certainly is not limited to them, but has grown out of my experiences and those of other adoptive, kinship, and foster parents I know. Titled The Caring Heart Speaks, it is a collection of almost 200 meditations on the milestones, hurdles, and celebrations of that parenting journey. From the first day a new child arrives in your home, through the many ups and downs, and beyond when they leave your care and influence, I have tried to put into words the whoops, whines, giggles, sobs, and cheers of our hearts and minds.

Hopefully the final books will be shipped and in my hands before the end of the month and I can start sharing it with those who are interested. If any of you know of an individual or especially an organization that might be interested in info, or reviewing it, etc. please let me know. Stay tuned for a pic of the cover and more updates as publication date gets closer! Cross your fingers for me..

Stepping past doubts

This morning I booked my flights and hotels and paid my registration fee, so I can't back out now. I am going to Nashville, Tennesee!

Quite a while ago I found a Florida organization online named Daniel Kids that works with foster children. When I saw they were doing a national conference on independent living for kids coming from care I was intrigued. My support people encouraged me to apply to do a workshop on the independence notebook I created for and use with my kiddos. Long story short, I did apply, they accepted the proposal, and now I am actually going! With the mouse click that confirmed my ticket and hotel I of course began to get the traditional cold feet. The questioning doubters in my head set up all kinds of arguments. Who am I to offer advice to others? How can I leave my kiddos for the five days of the conference? Especially how can I go when it is the first four days of school!? What if the workshop attendees think the notebook is stupid? What if they feel they wasted their time in my workshop?

Though painful, I think anxiety like this is a good sign. It means I am taking a risk, not playing it too safe. It means I am determined to do things well. It means I am looking for answers. That's what I would tell my kiddos. Wish me luck!

Booksignings

Friday I did a book signing at the Portland Jetport.  The Friday before April vacation is a high volume travel time at the jetport and I've done book signings there at similar times before.  A book signing is a lot like a middle school dance.  You go by yourself and hope that someone nice will notice you.  Before you go, you plan possible conversation gambits in case they do.  You think of a few possible scenarios and plan accordingly.  Then you go to the dance and stand there trying to look approachable and interesting.  People go by you and some glance your way, some fixate on a point several yards beyond you and focus firmly, avoiding any chance of eye contact, you keep smiling in a way that feels forced but you hope looks natural. Eventually someone stops and chats and you pull out you practiced conversation. Sometimes it ends at that, sometimes you discover more in common and the conversation becomes natural and comfortable.  Then in a blink they either buy a book, you sign it, and they leave OR they say thank you, good luck, and they leave.  Either way you go back to sitting and trying to look interesting and approachable.  See what I mean about it being like a school dance?

I am always willing to do book signings, even though I find them the waits between chats uncomfortable.  I figure if a bookstore owner these days is willing to give valuable shelf space to a book I've written, the least I can do is show up once in a while and help him sell them.  This time it was my book on Maine [It Happened in Maine].  I am still waiting for a book signing for my new New Hampshire book [More Than Petticoats: Remarkable New Hampshire Women]. A signing at the jetport is always a bit different because of the security screening and the pattern of rush rush as people come and go on planes, and wait wait in between flights. But the place is busy, the staff friendly, and the sales always nice.  

Hopefully sometime in the next year I will be planning a book signing for my foster/adoptive parenting book.  Or maybe signing a contract with a publisher for my book with Pat Miller about parenting children who chronically lie and steal. Both are still in the stage of have people volunteer to be readers and give us feedback for final revisions, of finding experts to read them and write glowing blurbs about them for their covers, etc.  IF you are curious for more info, or interested in being a chapter reader, let me know!  But for now, the signing is done, and as soon as the school vacation is over it will be back to the nitty gritty of writing, revising, and submitting.