School Bell: Put it behind you!

Are your kids overwhelmed by the amount of homework each night? Do they start fighting as soon as they see the stack of work to be done? Do they shut down after the first 15 minutes? This tip won't change the amount, but it may help manage the burden.  This time of year the homework load is often at its highest. Lower the stress your kids may feel. Help them take it one step at a time. Help them learn how to put it behind them.... literally!

Quick Homework Strategy...

Have your child stack their assignments and books behind them or under the table while they work. Take out a timer and the top-of-the-pile assignment and work for 15 minutes.  Then stop, put that assignment at the bottom of the pile and take out the new top assignment and work for 15 minutes. Continue until all assignments are done or homework time is used up. 

Advantages: 

1-Your child learns to stop getting frozen by the perceived enormity of what is to be done and learns to focus on one thing at a time, giving it his/her best.

2- Each teacher's or subject's assignment gets some work time.

3-The teacher will see what your child can accomplish in 15 minutes.
4-Your child learns the habit of breaking tough projects into smaller, more manageable chunks.

Hint- Talk to your child's teacher in advance and explain what you are doing and why.  Most teachers will support this approach whole heartedly. Just be sure that your child doesn't always leave their least favorite topic until last "conveniently" running out of time before getting to it.   


Image credit and thanks: visualphotos.com, chinatraderonline.com

Soapbox: How to Say "No"

Have you ever had that same struggle with the word "No" in response to being asked to do something?  Now I can say "No" to my children firmly and definitively without batting an eye.  It's part of parenting 101.  But when a church member or colleague, or even friend asks me to do something... it is a whole new ball game.  No matter how busy my schedule, how exhausted, or how firmly I have resolved NOT to take on anything new... the word "No" just doesn't seem to come out.  I admit it.  I am "No"-impaired!

Last Wednesday I said that I felt rewarded if I came away from an advice book with at least two concrete new strategies to try.  The book I was talking about last week [The Now Habit by Neil Fiore] gave me a second strategy... this one about how to say "No." for those of us who are "no-impaired." 

At first I thought his advice was foolish, a simple gimmick, a sneaky twist, or something else ineffective.  Like the slogan "just say no" I thought... it's not that easy!  ...But then I tried it.  To my shock it worked, and worked beautifully.  I actually did NOT agree to do the task.  Not only that, but the person who asked left feeling good about it, and so did I.

His trick?  Start by saying "Yes."  Not "Yes" and I will.  But continue after the "Yes" in a way that affirms the value of the request and end by saying that you cannot.  Huh?

Examples:

Sally:  Can you come over to the house this Friday and have supper?
You: Yes, that sounds like it would be fun, but I'm afraid that I can't. Thank you for asking. Maybe another time.

Sam: Can we put you on the committee for the eighth grade graduation?
You: Yes, I can see that you need people for that committee, but that's not really something for me.  Good luck !

Advantages: You acknowledge the need, or the invitation, or the value, but you still say that you cannot or will not say yes.  It doesn't close the door, it merely says no.  It gives you a moment to fight the knee jerk reaction of a quick "Yes" [that is inevitably followed by hours of regret and self-flagellation for being such a wimp]. For those of us who are "No"-impaired it can be a first step to learning that "No" can indeed be a complete sentence.


Image credits: practicinglawsucks.com, crocuses.blogspot.com, femita.com

Caring Heart: Appointment Overload

This was written for all parents who are raising children with special needs: physical, intellectual, or emotional.

Too Many Appointments

I am sick of so many appointments!  Give me patience, Lord and endurance for this long haul.  It seems that each day is a new round of trips to counselors, dentists, psychiatrists, evaluations, family visits, court dates, social worker meetings, family team meetings, school meetings.  It just goes on and on and on and on!  Some days I can barely remember who it is that we are seeing and why.  Sometimes I am filled with guilt about that other appointment that I still haven't scheduled.  I get so tired of it all. I am tired of trying to give a sixty-second recap to introduce the situation without humiliating the child sitting and listening.  When I feel so tired of it all, please stop me, Lord. Remind me to imagine what it must be like for this young child who must be equally sick of these endless appointments.  Help me imagine what it is like to be the subject of all this investigation and evaluation and treatment and questions.  How fearful that may be.  What must that do to self-image, confidence, and hope?  Take away my frustration and impatience and replace it with empathy and with support.  Amen.

Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker  Artwork from the book's cover by Anna Parker David

Parenting Tips: New Years Resolutions

In January it seems everyone is focused on New Year resolutions.  The good part of this is that people are trying to improve themselves which gives us a chance to talk to our kids about improving pieces of their lives or their habits.  We also have the chance to model it for them with our own resolutions to improve.  The not so good part is that people can easily fall off the resolution wagon and give up. 

We must teach them how to succeed at changing, not just model how to try and then give up! I am no expert on resolutions or resolution-keeping, but I have found some tricks that have helped me be better at both.  Try these five steps with your kids.

1. Focus on the change. The most important thing is that you/they are trying to do better, to change. Talk about the many opportunities we have for new beginnings.  A new year.  A birthday year older. A new school year.  A new job.  A new month.  A new week. Even a new day is a fresh beginning. Use all of them if need be.

2. Keep resolutions focused on the process not the result.  For example: #2 above is better than #1.  The resolution should be the action that will lead to the goal. This makes success possible in smaller chunks.  If your goal is to be healthier or in better shape [weight, strength, or otherwise] than a list of actions that will help you is a better, more achievable goal than "losing weigh" for example. Just like with eating, the smaller the child, the tougher the food, the smaller the bite! 

3. Think of the changes as specific steps in a plan.  Look at one week at a time.  A year is far too long a chunk for kids.  For younger kids, keep resolutions to day activities. "I will tell mom two things about school each day." or "I will set my alarm clock every night." Not "I will talk to mom more" or "I will get up better." Remember... small bites.

4. Build in flexibility. Remember that the goal is improvement, not perfection.  Build in margins. Do not expect complete or instant change.  Use those small bites to build your skills and your successes. 

How does this work?
Example: I need to relax a bit more to reduce my stress.  Since most of the stresses in my life are outside my control my plan for reducing stress is to build small chunks of down time into my days. My resolution?  "Build in time to relax and unwind." My whiteboard's daily checklist now includes two 15-minute chunks for crafting, two for reading, two for "wasting time" [being still].  My goal is to do at least two of those 15-minute chunks per day.  One day they both might be reading, another day they might be crafting, or 15 min crafting and 15 min just chilling. This makes my chances of building in relaxation far more likely to succeed. Since I have never been good at this I consider succeeding even once a week progress.  When I have managed it once a week, I will try for twice a week, then three times, then four times, etc. using a new week/month as the new beginning for an uptick. See how it works?  If I had a resolution to do 30 minutes a day of crafting, reading, or down time and expected to achieve that every day starting Jan 1st I would probably fail before the end of the first week.  But by using the system above, I feel successful all along, and can at least be confident that I AM building in time to relax and unwind. 

Good luck!

P.S.  Sorry I'm late posting today.   Image credit: motivates4life.com

Focus on Fostering: Try a worry wall

All kids worry.  Sometimes though, the worries of kids in care are stockpiled on top of regular kid worries and the pile becomes overwhelming. The worry thoughts crowd their heads and can seem to squeeze out all the good things, the good times, the calm. Try this little trick to tame the worry monster and cut him down to a more manageable size.

1. Get two different color sticky notes.  One color to stand for worries, one to stand for solutions.

2. With your child pick a spot on their bedroom wall. This will become their worry wall.

3. When your child mentions a worry [or you see one] write it on a worry sticky note and put it on their "Worry Wall."

4. Talk to the child about the problem.  When you come up with a plan for dealing with the worry [or even a solution] write it on a solution sticky note and place that sticky note next to and partially over the worry note.

Checking in on the Worry Wall can become part of bedtime tucking in, to kind of review the solutions and strategies so that the child can go to sleep focused on solutions not worries.  Using a Worry Wall also builds a habit of sharing concerns and working together to find solutions.... a habit that will pay off BIG time when your child is a teenager!

Remember... 

the bottom line we ALL

need to learn is....





Image crdits:
emotionalmachines.org,
looktothenorth.wordpress.com,
sodahead.com

School Bell: End of Year Paper Pile

As the end of the school year arrives, one last task always awaits students before leaving for the summer break.... cleaning out their lockers!  Combined with teacher's cleaning off their desks of last papers, this means an inevitable smorgasbord of paper that comes home scrunched into folders, straining the zippers of backpacks, sometimes spilling into paper bags, and all erupting into a flood somewhere between the front door and the desks or tables in homes all across the country.  Now, unless you too raised 4 or more children at a time, you probably didn't see piles like these, but I'm sure you still saw many more papers than you could possibly want.

Don't Panic!  Don't throw it all away or one of your children is bound to dissolve into anguished wails mourning treasures lost.  Don't keep it all or by the time they are grown and gone, you will be left with ungainly closetfuls of papers and memorabilia per child.  Even if you have never started this system it is not too late! Here is my suggestion:

1. Prepare: Give each child a separate place to put their papers and treasures. Choose a time and make a date/appointment with each child for a time in the next 48 hours when you will have the child show you all of their papers.

2. KEEP your date: When the agreed time comes, sit down with your child [the one who brought the papers home] and tell them that you are excited to see of their papers. Add that you want to make a special way to save the most special papers from this year to keep and remember as they get older.  Together you are going to choose what papers show what school was for them this year.

3. Set the goal: Explain that your child gets to choose up to 10 items or papers and you get to choose up to 10 items or papers. [Remember to choose papers that represent all the year, not just the very best of the year... maybe something from the early part and something from the end of the year.]


4. Go through the pile:  Ooh and aahh, celebrate progess, achievements.  Emphasize that effort and progress are the key, not perfection. Enjoy the time with the child focusing on them and building both bonds and enthusiasm about their year.

5. Label everything: If you don't get to 20 total, great. Whatever you end up with, be sure that each paper is labeled with the child's name and [if not a full date] at least the school year.

6. Make the folder: Get a fresh manilla folder and on the outside of the folder put: the child's name, grade level, the child's teacher/s that year, and the name and address of the child's school. If you have a photo of the child from that school year add it to the outside of the folder.

7. Start the collection: Put the chosen papers in the folder for this school year and file in a secure place. Repeat with each child, and repeat each year. [Don't forget to throw out the rest of the papers.!]

On Thursday's blog I will share a few simple ideas to make these folders even more treasured keepsakes for years to come.

Image credits: guardian.co.uk, st-yves.pbworks.com,, anniewilcox.blogspot.com

Parenting Tips: the Laundry Monster

Is anybody else out there sick of doing laundry???
As a parent of up to seven kids at one time I don't compete with the Duggars or many other super-large families. BUT, for too many years I did live a life of two-three loads of laundry per day just to stay caught up. [When I got behind let's just say... it wasn't pretty!]. Some of you regular readers will remember that I gained a second family of four after my first crew was pretty much grown.  The chance to "do things over, wiser" meant some changes.  One was in laundry.  I do not have a family laundry basket except in the bathroom for towels and washcloths.  Each person has their own laundry basket.

The youngest ones help fold the bathroom laundry [towels and washcloths are an easy place to start and it makes a nice, tall, satisfying pile quickly enough to satisfy a child.

By 8 [or 3rd grade] they are responsible for helping put away their folded clothes.

By 10 [or 5th grade] they are responsible for bringing their laundry to the washer, switching their load to the drier, and must help me fold their clothes as well as put them away.

By 12 [or 7th grade] they are responsible for helping me sort, soap, and load the washer also. If they are not around when I need to do laundry for my convenience, I don't mind doing it as long as generally they are helping. [I also start teaching them to iron so that if they ever need to, they can.]

By 15 [or 10th grade] I no longer do anything about their laundry unless there is a special circumstance.

I am sure many of you do the same, probably at even earlier ages. But, I have found this works pretty well for me.  Do I ever pitch in and help them out? Yes.  I want them to learn that families pitch in when one of them needs help. That means me pitching in to help them with their stuff just as I expect them to pitch in to help me on occasion.  But, the primary responsibility for laundry shifts gradually and consciously from me to them. And... none of my boys deal with pink underwear late in youth... they've gotten past those mistakes earlier on. By the time they need to be independent, laundry is one thing that is a cinch for them, that is not a concern.

PS. On Saturday's Quick Take I will tell my results with the info commercial's  FlipnFold.

Image credits: theordinaryhousewife.blogspot.com,  thenorthpoledaily.blogspot.com, bestnannynewsletter.blogspot.com

Caring Heart: Gerbil on a Wheel

Parenting often feels like a race, but a marathon rather than a sprint. I sometimes fee less like an athlete than a gerbil racing around an endless wheel.  For all of you who feel like a gerbil on a wheel here is a meditation I wrote when I looked at my wheel a little differently. 

Gerbil on a Wheel

Lord, I thank you.  So many times I feel like I am a gerbil on a wheel, racing around and around on a wheel that is going nowhere.  Then, just as I feel at the point of exhaustion, there is something to celebrate.  There is a moment, a look, a choice.  There is a sign that it may be a circular wheel, but it is not a wheel to nowhere.  It is a wheel filled with critical purpose.  Thank You for the energy for my wheel.  So many days I wonder how I will keep going and then I find my energy renewed.  I thank You for helping me get around and around the wheel.  It is a wheel loaded with challenges to be sure. But it is also spiced with moments of such hope, such joy that I am re-energized.  Thank You for those gifts.  They are not just gifts for these children.  They are gifts for me.  Thank you.

Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker    Artwork by Anna Parker David from the book cover. 

Focus on Fostering: Mood Thermometers

My kiddos often had moods that were very hard to read. The typical feeling charts with their assorted faces were far too many choices for them, plus too hard to read. I decided to make our own and to start with just three feelings: happy, sad, and mad.  

I had one of my cherubs show me what he looked like when he was a little happy, medium happy, and crazy happy, sad, and mad. I took pictures. Together we made the chart/poster you see. [It was his idea to make the sad thermometer go down as it got sadder.]

We used the chart 2 main ways.
1- He could move a magnet to show where his feelings/moods were.
2- I could move a magnet to show where it seemed his feelings/moods were.

I could say a lot more, but simply put... it work mini-miracles! This worked perfectly for us.Try it and let me know how it works for you! If you need more info about the other ways we used this, let me know and I will happily send you more info.

Soapbox: Patience

Paul Sweeney once said, "How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?" For me, patience is a survival skill, a life skill. I do consider it is a skill, one that must be kept fresh and like a muscle exercised often to stay strong and available when needed.

Despite Sweeney's concerns, I think we must find a way to teach patience to our children. Children need to have patience to call upon when the work of life and living gets hard, when the progress toward a goal is slow. They need to understand that when we are patient with them, it is not because we do not have the energy to discipline, or the strength to engage.  We are using that strength and energy to keep our eyes on the distant goal. Patience is not laziness, or fatigue, or lack of commitment.  One of my favorite quotes about patience is by Edward Bulwer-Lytton. [I know, I know, Yes, it is the same Bulwer-Lytton of "It was a dark and stormy night" infamy. But I DO like his patience quote.]

“Patience is not passive; on the contrary, it is active; it is concentrated strength”

I like the concept of active patience, of concentrated strength. Perhaps that is because sometimes it takes so much inner strength to hang on to my patience?  In any case, I wish us all patience.  I wish all of our children patience.  I recently found an affirmation quote that I wish were true.  When I need more of that "concentrated strength" of patience I repeat it over and over to myself.  Like many affirmations, I hope that perhaps if I say it often enough it will be true.  So, for all of us out in the ether world who may need it... repeat three times with me..... "There is within me a deep, deep well of peace.  All day long, I'll draw on its endless supply." Image credits:  picturesdepot.com, annabelle.net

Parenting tips: Stay in pajamas!

The plague hit our house this week.  The seemingly inevitable vacation week plague.  Two kids taking turns throwing up in the bathroom, one hacking and sneezing, and me with a bullfrog in my throat and goodness knows what in my chest!  So, today I bring you a parenting tip my mother passed on to me years ago:
When you get sick...do NOT get dressed until you are well.

Stay in pajamas and it will signal to your children that you are not yourself [assuming of course that pajamas are not your normal daywear]. If you are a single parent and must work, change into pjs as soon as you get home.  Even small toddlers will sense that something is different. 

Does wearing pajamas make it easier for you to keep the house going through the course of infection? No.
Does it gain you sympathy? No.
Will anyone seem to care that you too are sick? Probably not.
But ...
The second you drag yourself out of bed, hand over hand, and pull on sweats or jeans or any real clothes you have crossed a magical, clinical line in the minds of your children. In that moment you have been transformed. The good health fairy has come to you and bopped you on the head with her magic wand and... you are healed!  You and I know that an APB is still out for the mack truck that ran you down. Any adult can [and hopefully will] notice the sniffles, bloodshot eyes, or frantic races to the bathroom! But, in the minds of your children, you are well!
So, stay in those pjs even if you start feeling you can tackle life for a few moments at a time. Only when you can last a whole regular day... wash your hair, take a bath, put on your lipstick, brush your hair, and finally put on your clothes and really BE well.   Good Luck!

Image credit: proudpatriot07.wordpress.com

Parenting Tips: Pause and Breathe

Regardless of what you do or do not celebrate, this is a time often surrounded by stress.
My tip for today is to take a moment now to -
Stop reading this blog [much as I appreciate you visiting!],
Turn off your computer, and
Pause ---sit for a moment with your children, your partner, even alone...and just

Breathe out the frustrations.   ---    Breathe IN the love.   ---   Breathe out the rush.   ---   Breathe IN the compassion.   ---   Breathe out the chaos.    ---    Breathe IN a moment of peace.

Focus on Fostering: Limiting Holiday "Stuff"

As I mentioned in an earlier post, the holidays often include redecorating and rearranging around the house and the yard to create whatever your traditions consider festive.  This is true of Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanza, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and more.  Any holiday that the business world can convince us is better decorated than plain soon adds to the list.

The problem is that for many foster children, familiar structure is not only helpful, but crucial, to them feeling safe and secure.  All the changes that we see as temporary holiday "stuff" can be very unsettling to those who need consistency for security.  If your child is one of these, consider limiting the ways the holidays affect/change your living patterns.  [Maybe make one room the holiday room and leave the rest in their usual arrangement?] Talk out loud about it.  Let the child know that we all feel the disruption, even when it is good stuff. We know holidays are stressful for people who don't have the "Hallmark Card" family life.  But it is common to forget that even the surface business of a holiday can be an extra stressor for kids in care and for us. Kids who depend on familiar surroundings and structure for security can be undone at holiday time... when there is already more stress!

Holiday excitement and disruption is better than those caused by sadness or trauma, but it is still disruption. Sometimes all we can do is be aware and be prepared.  Hang in there!

Soapbox: Keep it Simple

The holidays are full of wonderful sights, sounds, and events. The streets are transformed by lights and more full than usual of shoppers, most of whom seem even more in a hurry than normally. Our homes are often crowded with extra decorations on tables and walls, with trees to be hauled inside and decorated. Many people have trees hauled into living rooms or dens with chairs moved here and there to make space. For most of us this is all part of the holiday, the hustle and bustle an accepted thing we roll with for the duration..... and are secretly relieved to pack up and put away as the house returns to normal.

Maybe we need to remember that less is more.

That stunning and simple often go together for a reason. 

Traditions are part of what bind us together as families, as regions, as cultures. Traditions are meant to add value not provoke stress.

Be mindful of that just as good stress is better than bad stress, but is still stress.  Holiday excitement is no exception.  

Busy-ness and excess need not be a tradition.  -   -  -   -   -

Does overwhelming stress need to be part of the tradition? 

Keep it simple.

Caring Heart: Too Many Appointments

This was written for all parents who are raising children with special needs: physical, intellectual, or emotional.

Too Many Appointments

I am sick of so many appointments!  Give me patience, Lord and endurance for this long haul.  It seems that each day is a new round of trips to counselors, dentists, psychiatrists, evaluations, family visits, court dates, social worker meetings, family team meetings, school meetings.  It just goes on and on and on and on!  Some days I can barely remember who it is that we are seeing and why.  Sometimes I am filled with guilt about that other appointment that I still haven't scheduled.  I get so tired of it all. I am tired of trying to give a sixty-second recap to introduce the situation without humiliating the child sitting and listening.  When I feel so tired of it all, please stop me, Lord. Remind me to imagine what it must be like for this young child who must be equally sick of these endless appointments.  Help me imagine what it is like to be the subject of all this investigation and evaluation and treatment and questions.  How fearful that may be.  What must that do to self-image, confidence, and hope?  Take away my frustration and impatience and replace it with empathy and with support.  Amen.

Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker

The Caring Heart... Emotional Fatigue

Today's meditation was written for foster, adoptive, and special needs parents, but as I reread it, I think it applies to all parents at one night or another. You reach the end of your rope long before the end of the day, and just feel so desperately overwhelmed. If [or when?] that is you... I hope this helps.

Emotional Fatigue

Dear Lord, My well feels empty. I have to dig down deeper and deeper within to find the emotional strength to keep going. The toll on my body and my heart sometimes seems more than I can bear. It is like a never-ending grief, mourning for these children whose lives can never be what they should have been. I weep that I cannot wave some magic wand of love over them and make the whole and unscarred. It seems so unfair. It is so unfair. I teach them that fair is not equal. Fair is giving each what each one needs. Why can't I seem to give them what they need? Why does it never seem enough? Fill me. Refill me. Take away the melancholy of grief and rejuvenate me with new energy. Give me energy for love and for action and for them. Fill my well. Amen.

Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker

Too many appointments!

How did it get to be a week since my last entry? I feel that it is realistic to make a short entry almost daily and yet here it is six days and no entry at all. Of course I know the answer for that... in the last six days I have had literally 25 different appointments! Yikes. Can I say overload??

How did dentists, doctors, counseling, parent-teacher, open house, orientation, and student team meetings all fall in line for a perfect storm? I was hoping to take a day to drive to visit my daughters [two hours away] and in the entire month of September there is only ONE day with no appointments scheduled. I have to do something about this! Is there anybody out there who has found a solution? I'm all ears....

Parenting Burnout?

This is one of those weeks when it all just seems too much.  Too many small crises, too many obligations, too many unexpected blips, too many everything.  As one who is currently dealing with adolescents and teenagers at the age of 60+ I would like a half hour to chat with those 50+ women I see on the news who are starting families.  It might start with "Are you CRAaaazy?" It would also include " What job is more important or gives more to the world than to raise a caring, responsible future member of society?" It would no doubt be a rambling, blithering half-hour that convinced no one of anything.... except perhaps that I was the crazy one.  

All joking aside, at my age there are many days when I question the sanity of my undertaking.  There are many nights when I worry that I am just letting some things slide, not out of rational, intelligent choice, but out of fatigue and parenting burnout. I can't tell you how tired I am of school open house night speeches, pulling baby teeth, of 4th grade recorder concerts, middle school graduations, and [perhaps most of all!] teaching kids to parallel park. Shouldn't there be a maximum for some of those irksome tasks of parenting?  Some number that, once you reach it, you are excused from that job forever more????

Burnout is a particular problem for single parents, regardless of age.  The wish for someone who would just come and take charge, giving you a break for a bit, is always there.  No one to be the other half of "good cop, bad cop." No one to tell... "You get up with them this time." No other half to say "I'll pick up A from her soccer game, while you take B to his doctor's appointment." No X to have as in... "Just wait until X gets home!" True, when child A walks up for their diploma, or B achieves a long-fought-for goal... you can hold in your heart the part you played in their success.  But you also are likely to personalize and take on  the blame for any failings or challenges.  

When parenting burnout hits, I try to roll with it.  I try to relax about the out-of-sorts symptoms it brings, keep going on the crucial stuff, let the little stuff slide. I try not to take it personally and instead I treat the burnout kind of like a seasonal cold. Extra rest, healthy food, plenty of water, and when possible a little extra pampering. For all my fellow burnout victims... maybe consider parenting burnout a mild seasonal allergy? It arrives when a certain pollen is in the air and it will pass on its own in due time. The symptoms are annoying and tiresome, but they too pass.  They don't kill us, they rarely even incapacitate us, but a little care and pampering is a good plan.  

So, start a tub, watch a useless TV show, pick up a guilty pleasure magazine at the checkout, or go sit by yourself on the porch and soak in a sunset or full moon.  The pollen will pass. 

24-7 seems not enough

Whose idea was it to have 24 hours in a day? For the last few weeks I have had an especially hard time prioritizing responsibilities. All parents are familiar with that struggle, especially other single parents. My physical therapist an doctor think my first priority must be rehab on my hand [at least 30 min an hour]. My kiddos think I should drop everything the moment they are bored and amuse them. The writer in me is desperately eager to get publicity stuff ready for the book. The presenter in me is panicking that in 17 days I will be presenting at a national foster care conference and do not yet have all my presentation materials done. The sibling in me is eager to have my dad's home really finished to perfection and ready for tenants [lst set arrives Saturday!]. The devil in me wants to curl up on a glider and immerse myself in pillows and a book. The mom in me wants my house to be tidy and ready for a daughter to enjoy when she arrives this weekend. [At the moment the best-seeming solution alternates between starting with a front loader or with a small bomb.] Sound familiar to anyone reading out in cyber space?

The only solution it seems would be for me to have a few "days" of biblical proportions....If God created light and dark and separated the into day and night in one day, perhaps little old me could actually get MY room cleanly organized into separate areas in a biblical day? If in one day God created all the creatures of the sea and sky, surely in one biblical day I could teach my four not-so-small land creatures to get along?

But, I along with the rest of us mere humans, only get a 24-hour day, and only 7 of them per week. So I am back to prioritizing. If I ever find a system that really works, you won't read about it n my blog, because the sound of my ecstatic celebration will no doubt be heard all the way to wherever you are. If you have already found the solution.... stop hiding it from the rest of us! Share!!!

Put it Behind You

Quick Homework Strategy-

Are your kids overwhelmed by the amount of homework each night? Do they start fighting as soon as they see the stack of work to be done? Do they shut down after the first 15 minutes?This won't change the amount, but it may help manage the burden. 

Have your child stack their assignments and books behind them or under the table while they work. Take out a timer and the top-of-the-pile assignment and work for 15 minutes.  Then stop, put that assignment at the bottom of the pile and take out the new top assignment and work for 15 minutes. Continue until all assignments are done or homework time is used up.  

Advantages:  1-Each teacher's or subject's assignment gets some work. 2-The teacher will see what your child can accomplish in 15 minutes. 3-Your child learns the habit of breaking tough projects into smaller, more manageable chunks. 4-Your child learns to focus on one thing at a time, giving it his/her best instead of getting frozen by the perceived enormity of what is to be done.

Hint- Talk to your child's teacher in advance [good parent conference topic] and explain what you are doing and why.  Most teachers will support this approach whole heartedly. Just be sure that your child doesn't always leave their least favorite topic until last "conveniently" running out of time before getting to it.