Focus on Fostering: Personal Game Pieces

If your house is like mine.. you have enough plastic medicine vials and caps to build a model of the Empire State Building or perhaps a full size replica of the local DHHS building! Here is one of my favorite ways to up-cycle the plastic caps!  I talked about this idea once before, but I keep getting requests to repeat it, so here goes....

Take the caps off old medicine vials. Take some extra school pictures or old snapshots of your kids.  Cut the face of each child in a circle matched to the size of the cap. Glue the picture to the cap.  Voila... personal playing pieces!

For games like Monopoly you will only need one picture playing piece for each child.  For games like Parcheesi, Sorry etc. you will need a set of playing pieces for each child. Use matching pictures or a mix of pictures of each child. 

No more arguing over who gets to be the top hat or thimble in Monopoly or to play red in Sorry. No problem remembering who is what color or what symbol. Kids love moving "themselves" around the game board.  Plus, for kids with attachment or self-esteem issues, the personalizing is a real plus.

And don't let the kids have all the fun...make them for the parents too!  For an extra kick make some for frequent playmates of your children. My kiddos' friends are always excited when they discover I have made a playing person just for them out of an old snapshot.  Try it!  Let me know how it works for you.

Image credits: moderngent.com

Holidays 101: #18-Homemade Gifts

As an organist I am frequently called to play for funerals.  So, I have been to literally hundreds of funerals. I have seen flower bouquets, photo montages, displays of all kinds. I recently played for another Christmas season funeral... always tougher near ANY holiday.  For this woman they displayed literally hundreds of homemade ornaments which this woman had given her children, friends, grandchildren etc.

It got me thinking about how often there is a display of things the person made during their life.  Whether handcrafts, wood carvings, paintings, or what, people prize the gifts that have been made by the hands of someone they love.


NEVER have I seen a display of cherished things the person bought for them.

So, it may be too late for this holiday season, but it certainly isn't too late to start shifting our mindset.  Let's go back to the days of homemade gifts, of gifts crafted by our own loving hands for those we love. There is something very special, very magical, about holding something in your hand that was held in and created by their hands.

Let's teach our children not only by GIVING them handmade gifts, but by helping THEM give handmade gifts. Maybe you sew a pillowcase, or knit a hat, or build a play table, or paint a mirror, or create a game, or turn a can into a pencil holder. It doesn't really matter WHAT it is.  What matters is WHO made it, and the love they show.

PS: Less tangible homemade gifts are those of service rather than objects.  Gifts of DOing something for someone cost only time. [One of the most loved gifts I have seen was when one brother promised to do the other brother's chores for two weeks!]

Image credits: saidosdaconcha.blogspot.com, thesimpledollar.com, handmadecharlotte.com, craftjuice.com

Holidays 101: #16 Long Distance Gifts

I have some family who live within hours, some who live on the other side of the country and even some on the other side of the world.  Here are some ideas that have brightened the holidays across the miles for me. [And they all fit inside a priority mail envelope!]

1. Photo ornaments:
I still cherish a set of photo ornaments I received ages ago. No they aren't photos on porcelain, tho I have seen lovely ones.  These were a set of free form shapes cut from card stock.  On each was a photo of a family member who could not come for the holidays.  Gold glitter edged each photo and a ribbon tie let each photo be placed on my tree and then later hung around my room. These two photos show similar efforts, although a bit fancier.

2. For Grandparents especially:

As grandchildren get more numerous and memory less dependable, making a family calendar is not only easy, but helpful too!  Pictures are a nice addition if you choose, but the key part is to put everyone's birthday and year they were born. [If they are especially forgetful, put a birthday alert on the calendar a few days ahead of each birthday so they can send a card in time!] Someone did this for me several years ago and it was a great help in remembering how old each grandchild was and whose birthday was when.

3. Recordings:

These are great for all kinds of occasions as Hallmark finally figured out! Years and years ago my father make a [reel to reel!] tape recording of him reading my brother's favorite bedtime stories to comfort my brother when he was stuck in bed sick.  Many years later we put a [cassette] tape recorder in the middle of the room to capture the chaos and excitement of the holiday by having all the kids sing some holiday songs and send holiday greetings. We then sent the recording to my parents, who I later discovered played the recording over and over each Christmas for years. Now with digital recordings and CDs the variety of options is even wider. The magic of hearing your loved ones voice never gets out-dated and a recording that you can hear repeatedly and over time is even more special. And of course now there is video too!.....Skype and phone calls are wonderful but making a lasting recording is an even bigger blessing.

4. Celebrate Memories:

Consider something like what I blogged about in last Saturday's Holidays 101 #11 [Give a High Five].  Find a way to capture and celebrate memories of the distant person, or of times shared together. Whether a mini-book, or a scrapbook, or even just a list, documenting the importance of memories and events that you value lets the person who receives your gift know how special they are to you. These are perfect long distance gifts whether for seasonal holidays or birthdays etc.

Holidays 101: #11 - Give a" High Five"

Whether the person lives far away or in your own house, this is a simple to do, yet deeply meaningful gift you can give that will be treasured for years by the recipient.  Give a person you love a very special, very personal, "High Five." This can be done by an individual or as a group project by a whole family. It can be done very simply and quickly or be made more complex and fancy..... either way, it is the personalized  content that makes this so special, not whether the handwriting is neat, or done by computer, or whether in a 99¢ notebook or done on fancy vellum and bound at an office store.

1. Take a small "mini journal" like those available soft cover in almost any dollar store.

2. Make a Table of Contents listing five chapters. [You can add the page numbers later if you wish]

  ---- Five things you love or admire about the person.

  ---- Five things would you enjoy or do  enjoy doing with the person.

  ---- Five words [or phrases] that describe the person.

  ---- Five memories you have of the person.

  ---- Five wishes you have for that person.

3. Write each chapter title on its own page.  [Add drawings or drawn borders if you like.]

4. Use a separate page for each  chapter list or [if you want a longer book and the pages are small] put each number item on a separate page making each chapter 5 pages plus chapter title page.

5. Add photos. Use a photo of the person at the front of the book and/or on the cover of the book. [Add a few pages of other photos scattered thru book if plenty of photos of the person are available. ]

6. Author's page. BE SURE to include a section at the end of the book with the names [and photos if possible] of the book's "authors" and the date [at least the year] of the gift. Have each person who contributed sign the page.

Optional Extras You Can Add: 
---a dedication page at the front, --- illustrate pagees or add drawings---more "Fives" to fit the person. [favorite foods, sayings, places, etc.] Be creative or be fast....either way:

Warning: This Gift Guaranteed to Delight !

Focus on Fostering: Recreating a Past

Kids who have been taken from their original family from abuse and/or neglect often lack the beginning chapters of their life story.  They are likely to lack the baby pictures, first missing tooth photos, and more.  In a perfect world, parents would be required by the courts to answer basic developmental history questions about their children so that crucial health and developmental information would be available. But no such practice exists. But, if you have a child who is noticing their absence of early photos in your home, or in a scrapbook, or for a school project.... how about putting them in charge???

Give them the chance to rewrite their beginning chapters.  Dig out a child development book and tell them about when a baby sits up, gets their first tooth, starts to crawl, takes its first steps.  Help the child create a story about their beginnings.  As long as you don't use it for diagnostic purposes, why not?

Go another step and help the child [or adolescent] search online pictures and pick out a baby picture, a toddler taking first steps or playing with stacking toys, or grinning a gap-toothed smile. Print them, cut them out. May a fictional baby book for your child. Let them choose... where they a bald baby or a baby with a monk fringe of hair, or blond or dark hair. Let them choose.  There is so little in their life so far they have had choice in.... why not let them choose to recreate a beginning?

Image credits:  momwithoutamap.com, cutestwallpapers.blogspot.com, planning family.com

Parenting Tips: Setting the Table

Helping to set and clear the table is often one of the first family responsibilities parents teach. [Notice I did not use the C word. If you call it a chore it implies something very different than if you call it a family responsibility.] Here are two tricks I have found helpful and that my children and grandchildren have actually enjoyed. 

Starter Placemat:  For the younger set, try this trick. Buy a cheap plain color plastic place mat. Use permanent markers trace the circle of a small size plate in the center.  Now put a dinner plate on that so the spacing is right.  Next place trace a knife and spoon to the right of the plate.  Trace a fork to the left of the plate.  If you regularly use napkins, trace a napkin to the left of the fork.  Trace a circle for a glass or cup above the knife and fork to the right of the plate.  PRESTO.  You have a pattern guide that a young child can use to perfectly set the table. You may not use a bread and butter plate, as this image does but you can leave it out easily.

If you have more than one child... Make a pattern placemat for each and put each child's name inside the circle for the plate to mark their table place.  Perhaps the child can help.  It doesn't have to be perfect to serve its purpose.

Which side?  For kids who have trouble remembering on which side the utensils go... one of many tricks is to use the number... LEFT has 4 letters, so does FORK, forks go on the left. KNIFE has 5 letters, so does RIGHT.  Knife goes on the right.  SPOON has 5 letters so spoon goes on the RIGHT.  It seems cumbersome, but by the time they go through the process several times, it helps the placement become automatic. If you call your drinking item a GLASS, that makes it also fit on the RIGHT, but if you call it a cup or mug you are stuck! :-)

Image credits:  homeworkshop.com, goodtreemontessori.wordpress.com

Parenting Tips: Start a Life Record!

Today's parent tip is one I wish I had done with each of my first children.  Please PLEASE please start it today for each of yours. You won't regret it and it will bring years of helpful information and joy along the way. Make a L.I.F.E. record/book for each of your children. [You may even want to put on together for yourself looking backward!]

What is a L.I.F.E. record? 

It is a List of Important Facts and Events.

1. Get a notebook 
     ANY notebook... you can always make a pretty one or fancy one or computerized one later. For now the most important thing is to start!
     Get a notebook.

2. Set up your child's L.I.F.E. book:
     • Put your child's name in the front and skip 5 pages.
     • At the top of the 7th page write the year your child was born.
     • On the top of the 8th page write the next year.
     • Continue, writing one year at the top of each page until you get to the age they are now [ or keep going to 21, 25, or even 30]

3. Start filling in your child's L.I.F.E. book:

     • Go to the year 2011 and write the name of your child's teacher, the school they attend. 

     • Write their height and weight [I know it's not Jan 1st, but trust me when they are 30 and looking back they won't care that it was measured in March not January! 

     • IF you want, write one sentence about what they like/hate right now or what they are best at right now. [Ex: Loves or hates Justin Beiber or Twilight or whatever.]

     • Limit yourself to ONE sentence... maybe even a sentence fragment... this is a list, not a full biography!

4. Keep it going forward each year once you have started. 
    • When your child earns their first money [babysitting, shoveling, whatever].... write in on a line of that year's page.
   • When your child goes on their first date.... write in on a line of that year's page.
   • When your child learns to swim/ride a bike/drive a car.... write in on a line of that year's page.

5. In random moments you can grab,  start back-filling in your child's L.I.F.E. record.

    • On the page with the year your child learned to walk, write that in on a line. 

    • On the page with the year your child started school, write that [and the name of the school, maybe even teacher] on a line.

    • Did your child ever break an arm?  Write in on a line of that year's page.

IF you want to write more than "just the facts" about these events, DON'T write it on the L.I.F.E. page.  Write it on the empty back pages of the L.I.F.E. book [or even on extra paper or in another notebook] marking the year at the top of each. At some point later, you can make an overal L.I.F.E. binder, using notebook binder dividers to mark off each year. Photocopy the L.I.F.E. pages. Put the original L.I.F.E. pages as the first section. Then put the photocopy of each as the front page in each year section. Behind that year "index" put your pages with anecdotes, photos or stories for events of that year.

Remember, sometimes MORE is less helpful, because it may distract you from the usefulness of a simple, list form, scannable survey/summary of your child's L.I.F.E.

Parenting Tips: Personalized Gift of Communication

At the request of a friend, today I am sharing how to make personalized notebooks for your kids or that they can make for their friends.  It costs very little and takes less than an afternoon.  Best of all, there is no sticky mess or gooey mystery left behind when you are done!

I use these notebooks as gifts and also as back and forth communication notebooks between my kids and I.  Sometimes they will write something in that they want me to know, or want to ask without being face to face.  They put the notebook on my bed.  When I find it, I read it, then write a reply to them in the book and put it on their bed.  Try it!

Take an ordinary spiral notebook. The goal is to create a new, personalized cover on a plain sheet of paper and then glue the decorated paper over the old cover. 

Personalized Spiral Journals  To make theses journals follow these steps:
1. Start by cutting a piece of paper the same size as the cover.  [Hint: Do the personalizing BEFORE you glue it to the cover in case you want to make changes.] 
2. Glue a photo of the child prominently on the cover. 
3. Decorate the rest of the cover with other photos, stickers, words about the child or words showing the child’s interests and hobbies. You can use rubber stamps, pictures and words cut from magazines, etc.
4. When satisfied with the new cover sheet glue it carefully on top of the old notebook cover. 
5. To add protection and strength, cover the front of the front cover with clear adhesive paper. 
 a. Cut a piece of Contact paper 1 inch larger than the top, side, and bottom. 
 b. Start the contact as close as possible to the edge of the spirals. Carefully and slowly peel the backing off the contact as you apply the clear contact from left to right across the surface.  
 c.  If air bubbles occur, try to smooth the air  toward the edges with your fingers. If not possible, prick the bubble with a pin to release the air, and smooth again.             
 d. Use scissors to make cuts at the corners so that you can fold the extra to the inside of the cover's top, side, and bottom. 

Image credit: countryliving.com

School Morning -Not-so-Routines

Anybody else out there hate the morning hassle getting kids ready?  With school starting soon I am getting my kids ready for the morning routine yet again.  My kids ride the bus to school so being ready on time is essential.  Unfortunately, done independently they would manage it by skipping some part of the routine I consider "normal." Basics I am trying to teach as essential, [such as brushing your teeth and at least running a comb through your hair], become the things they see as time-permitting. This is of course means that on a rainy morning when choosing between rolling out of bed and getting started OR turning over for another 5 minutes and cutting corners.... unbrushed teeth, uncombed hair.  

Experts say that if you do an action every day at the same time, in the same way, for 17 days in a row, it will become a habit, no longer needing the effort of reminders.  The experts clearly have never met my crew! However, I have found one thing which has helped a LOT. I started doing it several years ago after seeing this approach used to help students with autism spectrum.  

Use your digital camera and take a picture of your child DOing each step of the morning routine.  Then download the pics to your computer and shrink them.  Paste them into a document checklist of the desired morning pattern. [If your child can read, add brief captions. If your child can tell time, add goal time captions.] I put mine on a clipboard hung in each child's bedroom. I got the kids involved in getting them ready... making a game of estimating then timing how long it took for each step.  The younger ones chose the fonts and colors before I printed up the charts. The kids also chose the order they would do things [with a bit of guidance so that teeth were brushed after breakfast for example.] 

In my house using photo checklist/charts saved some of the morning hassles, reduced arguments, and made the list be the bad guy instead of me. I did them low-tech before digital cameras and computers, but it sure is a lot easier now.  Try it and see how it works for you. 

Fights or Fun with Game Pieces

      So, when was the last time your kids fought over who got to be the thimble in Monopoly, or the blue playing pieces in Sorry, and on and on?  You get out a game for a few minutes of family bonding and before you even can start it seems they are at each other's throats. Sound familiar?  Try this.... take the caps off old medicine vials. Take some extra school pictures or old snapshots of your kids.  Cut the face of each child in a circle matched to the size of the cap. Glue the picture to the cap.  Voila... personal playing pieces! 

         For games like Monopoly you will only need one picture playing piece for each child.  For games like Parcheesi, Sorry etc. you will need a set of playing pieces for each child. Use matching pictures or a mix of pictures of each child. No problem remembering who is what color or what symbol.  No fighting over colored playing pieces.  Kids love moving "themselves" around the game board.  Plus, for kids with attachment or self-esteem issues, personalizing is a real plus.  For an extra kick make some for frequent playmates of your children. My kiddos' friends are always excited when they discover I have made a playing person just for them out of an old snapshot.  Try it!  Let me know how it works for you.