Mondays are now reserved for school topics.... Today I am starting a series on hints for helping win the homework wars. Clearly it has to be a series of Mondays because no one solution can eliminate all homework battles. [If you know the perfect solution.. write the book and you will soon make a fortune.]
Homework Battle Weapon #1... Time out!
When children begin having real homework they often have bouts of fearfulness and insecurity. Some children are luck and need little help. Others need a great deal of support to be successful. So, how do you balance giving helpful support and encouraging independent work? Invest in a timer! If your child is easily distracted do NOT get one like in the picture... the ticking will keep them from ever getting anything done. But you don't need a fancy one, just on that can accurately show minutes individually so that your child can see the time dwindling away. This strategy works best if you start it as soon as your child has any homework... even a coloring page for a kindergartener! Explain to your child that you are there for help, but they need to work some by themselves too. Show them how to use the timer to mark the four-part cycle:
1. First 5 minutes : The child does as much as they can. They skip the parts they need help with and go one to do as much as they can alone. [During this time in the beginning you can sit at the table or stay in the same room with them for reassurance, but doing something of your own because they are not to interrupt you for help in this section.] If they ask, just remind them to circle it so you can help them with it in the next 5 minutes.
2. Second 5 minutes: Come over and sit next to them. Help them with any of the ones they had to skip. Explain each step to them as you walk them through the harder ones together so they learn how to do it themselves.
3. Third 5 minutes: The child goes back to working independently. [They can still skip ones they get stuck on, to return to later.]
4. Fourth 5 minutes: The child gets a 5 minute break from homework. Have them physically get up from their desk or table and move around a bit. Maybe get some fresh juice or water from the kitchen, or grab a couple of carrots or apple slices, go to the bathroom.... whatever.
Repeat as needed. The 5 minute breaks will teach your child to give themselves physical breaks so that they can stay better focused the rest of the time and be fresher. It teaches them to wait to get help... a key skill in the classroom as well as during home homework. If frees you from constant barrage of help questions and yet allows them to feel your presence, support, and be able to count on getting your help during that part of the cycle.
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