One of the most painful parts of being a foster parent is when a caseworker calls about a child who needs to be placed and for some reason your instincts tell you to say no, while the heart within you is focused on how badly the child needs someone to say yes.
Turning down a Placement
I said "No" today. I believe it was the right decision, but I still feel guilty. When they called and said she needed a home, I was tempted. But as I listened to their description of her and her needs it just didn't feel right. I can't even put my finger on a simple issue. It wasn't just her age, or her history. It wasn't just her academic and emotional profile. The whole package just didn't seem like a good fit. She needs a home so desperately. Bit I just am not sure that this is the right home to meet her needs, to help her grow and heal. These children have been through so much, Lord. They need stability. Starting here and discovering the match was bad would have been just one more broken relationship, one more blow to her self-esteem, one more sign that grownups can't be trusted, won't stay. I just couldn't bear to be that or do that to her. Be with me and give me wisdom and judgment as young lives like hers are brought before me. Guide her to a family that IS a good fit. Be with her until that day comes, and be with her forever after.
Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker Artwork by Anna Parker David from the book cover.