If you are raising children who spent their early years in a home with inadequate care, and especially if it was abusive, you know how hard it is for some children to move past that time and learn to redefine themselves. Children who are old enough to remember the abuse and neglect often they see themselves as victims, or lash out at everyone, etc. If I had a dollar for every time one of my charges cried, "You don't understand how hard a life I've had," I would be wealthy. It's true though. I don't understand. After years of trying everything to help them I found something that didn't cure, but did help them limit.
if you are going to hang on to memories of the bad things that happen in life, you have a responsibility also to recognize and remember the good things.
Little by little they begin to see that current life has more goods than bads. Little by little they learn to recognize that those nightmares, those bad memories are a part of their PAST life, not the present. This helps them to define themselves more by the present than the past, a crucial key to resilience and recovery.
1 day ago