Three Stages of Independence... or: Will I ever sleep in again?

This morning I was up bright and early. Yesterday I was up early [though not very bright]. Tomorrow I expect I will be up early again. I can barely remember what it is like to sleep in with the calm, confident abandon demonstrated daily by my adolescent and teen kiddos. Having raised at least nine children I have come to some conclusions not usually covered in child development books. They often write about the stages of independence a child moves through but they always seem to overlook the milestones of morning wakening. Here is my take:

#1- NO independence--

Children who are too young to be safe and independent in the house will always wake up early in the morning, preventing you from a slow rousing, much less of joy of sleping in. This will continue until the age the child could be safely allowed to get up and about by themselves. If when you awake you discover a happy child playing amid unintended household disruption.... they are still not safe enough for you to oversleep or sleep in.

#2- WISHFUL independence--

As soon as your child is safe up alone they will begin randomly switching from early risers to late risers. This is part of their instinctively devious biological plot to keep you on your toes, never relaxed enough to really let go and plan a morning to sleep in. At this stage you will be tempted to sleep in but beware... the moment you do, you will awake to find they have discovered the joy of making living room sandboxes using ricekrispies for sand or some other temporary disaster.

#3- SAFE indepence--

The third stage is when the children are old enough to be actually useful in the morning [to get some work done, to help the younger ones get up and dressed, to even just get themselves up and ready]. You will sigh, and think "Well, if I can't sleep in, at least they can be useful." Not so fast. At this point they will always sleep in. Not only will they sleep in, but getting them up will require almost as much effort as watching a toddler who is already up.

Anyone find a different pattern? Any solutions? Some of my friends suggested that one of the empty-nest joys is that you finally get to sleep in when you choose, without fear or guilt. We'll see. I'm still waiting.