Summer Camp Goodbyes

OK, so we made it to the summer camp and back without major trauma. Yes, the day or two before were filled with anxiety based disagreements and hassles, but we made it. The day before she left she was antagonizing and irritating everyone in the house in an almost nonstop onslaught.  At one point I took her for a walk with me [partly in an attempt to put opposing forces in separate corners before the next round could begin!]. On the walk I told her a "story" about a time her brothers were getting ready for camp and were getting nervous.  I explained that they were realizing how much they would miss all of us but didn't want to admit it to us or to themselves.  So, they started fights with everybody so it would be easier for them to leave and maybe they wouldn't miss us as much.  I asked her if she thought that made sense.  She nodded without looking at me.  I asked if she ever felt like that. Another nod.  I asked if she thought that was why she was fighting so much right then.  Her big eyes finally met mine for a slight moment and she nodded sadly before hugging me tightly.  Now I would like to say that after our walk the rest of the day went much better.  Not so.  But at least I knew. And, she knew I knew. 

          I was surprised to see that [at twelve and a half] she still packed her old precious "Lovey" from years before. [See the entry from Sept 8, 2009 for a description.] I am even more surprised [and impressed] that she could find it immediately in a room that is rarely cleaned up and organized for more than a day or two despite repeated cleanupa. I have long since forgotten what wishes and blessings we tucked inside while making it. Probably she has forgotten too. Clearly it still provides her some comfort and reassurance. Hooray for Loveys!

           By now she has probably felt a moment of panic and perhaps reached out to make a new friend. Sooner or later she will make some. Maybe after her first meal or two there she has decided whether the food there will be good or hopeless. Either way she will be fed. She either slept well, fitfully, or very little. Whichever the case, she will survive. Perhaps she will even thrive.  Not that she is likely to admit it to me.  I hope she will have a great time.