Struggle is good in the middle and high school years. The child who has difficulty acquiring knowledge is forced to learn [or at least try] a wide variety of strategies for learning... flash cards, outlines, anagrams, rhymes, silly mental pictures, etc etc. Compare that to the child who breezes through class, who seems to absorb the material the first time exposed. Some seem so lucky that they could pass [and do well] on the unit tests even without doing the homework. But is this lucky? The parents get off easier, that is certain. But do the children?
With very few exceptions everyone will struggle to learn something during their life. Even the likes of Einstein or the latest wundekinds have areas of learning that are challenging. But when we talk of typical people, sooner or later they come up against something that doesn't come easily. Many of those students who breezed through middle or junior high school, who aced high school without breaking a sweat, hit a wall sometime in college.
There are several problems with that.
1- When these students do hit that wall they are now in a time when the grades matter far more than in earlier school years. When I taught fifth grade, I never had a Harvard admissions office care about that D on the marine mammal project, or that failed Civil War test. I have seen employers turned off by D's in someone's major, or F's on their transcripts. Parents have to let go at some point when their child is learning to walk. They have to eventually let go of the bike if a child is to learn to ride. Knowing to occasionally NOT bail their child out of a school mess is also an essential if the child is to learn to learn. Do it judiciously. Do it compassionately. Do it AFTER having taught the child the skills to be independent. But do it. Few children are damaged permanently by falling on their face when learning to walk, or by a skinned knee in a bike fall. They will also survive falling on their face at school. But like a child learning to walk or ride, parents should be there to help dust them off, bandage the wounds, and help them see how to do better. And.. it hurts less when you are younger and more resilient.
2- These students have no reservoir of strategies built up over the years. They have no parents to stand over them, helping, even nagging. These are often the kids who do poorly in college and seem unable to change the trend. They may have always been able to do everything else and then pull it together for the test and now can't. Or they may have been able to postpone till the last minute and still make it work and now it doesn't work. Or the information itself may not "stick" just by listening in class, or by reading the material quickly. Suddenly none of that is working and they may have trouble even recognizing the train wreck coming much less dealing with it.
The students who struggled at some point or through high school are not surprised or taken aback when things are hard. They return to some of the strategies that got them through earlier learning challenges. These strategies are familiar, and many students even know exactly which approaches work best for them.
So, when you are about to pull your hair at one more flash card drill, one more Venn diagram, etc., hold onto the thought that you are helping them develop systems for dealing with learning that will be in their personal learning baskets for the rest of their lives. And in you are a parent who doesn't have to help their child with homework, consider seeking ways to challenge them before they go out on their own. It is healthy for a child, while still surrounded by supportive parents, to experience that challenge, that panic, that frustration. Those are opportunities to teach them ways to respond that will help them respond to other challenges, panics, and frustrations long beyond their academic years. And in the meantime.... gather up all the tricks you can and pass them on to your children. If they don't need them now, they will some time.
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