All parents feel pushed and tested, not just foster and adoptive parents. But kids who are "placed" in a home have special motivation. This is for all of us.
He is pushing all my buttons today. I understand how he needs to test me, to see if I plan to stick with him or if I will throw up my hands and give up on him as so many have done already. Help me be strong. Help me stay calm and quiet, merely accepting each moment and moving on. Help me to maintain an even keel inwardly as well as outwardly, so that this time will pass as quickly as possible. I need it to pass quickly, Lord. This is not a good time for him to be pushing me so hard. I am so tired. I doubt there would be a good time Lord, but this is certainly not it. I know he will do it again, and again, and again, until he dares to believe that I will be there no matter what. Do we push your buttons with our doubt and our stubbornness? Do you get this frustrated with us? Give me the wisdom to recorgnize and accept this testing as a rite of passage for him and for me. Give me strength. Give him trust to replace testing. Give me calm until it passes.
Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker Artwork by Anna Parker David from the book cover.