A different kind of Mother's Day meditation today.... one I suspect is familiar to all those who parent someone else's children.
Why can't I live with my real parents?
Help me to answer her question without unhelpful judgment. Help my answer validate her feelings and concerns, yet support her. Help me to leave space in her thinking for them to have been good at something. No matter what else, they created this unique, individual girl. Help me to emphasize that, while accepting they were not able to take care of her properly. If appropriate, help me remind her that sometimes people can change and grow and get better at things. If not, help me teach her that sometimes no matter how much people want to be good at something they just can't be. Give me the words that leave room for her to believe that she was loved, and to know that she was worth loving, that none of the failure rests on her. And Lord, please help me not to feel hurt, or rejected, but to understand that her dreaming and wishing is no reflection on me, but a reflection of what she has lost, and what she can only imagine. Please, dear God, let me help her understand that this is not her fault, and that she can grow up to be a wonderful, loving young woman. Help me. Help her. Help me to help her.
Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker Artwork by Anna Parker David from the book cover.