I hope none of you ever need this meditation. But, if you or someone you know does, I hope it will help. It was not designed for last week's situation [see my Tuesday May 15 blog]. I wrote it when I found it so difficult to find the words to console a friend whose foster/adoptive child had committed a terrible murderous attack.
When they commit a severe crime...
Oh merciful God, I cannot believe he did this. I cannot wrap my head around it, much less my heart. I feel so broken inside. This child-man that I have loved and sheltered and cared for these years. Should I have known he was capable of such violence? Was there something I could have done to prevent this awful crime? How do I face his victims? How do I face him? What can I say? What can I do? I have cried until there are no more tears. I don't know where to turn, except to You. I need Your help so desperately to get through this. I need to get through this for the rest of my family. They are looking to me for explanations and comfort that I do not have. Be with him Lord. He is so very lost. Comfort his victims. They are in such pain. Help me Lord. Help all of us. Help me put this burden down, Lord. Help me find a way through this awful wilderness. Take this pain away. Be with me through the pain. Help me find the words, the path, the faith to help myself, to help him, and all of us. Help us to find peace beside the pain. Help us one day rediscover a bud of hope amidst the despair. Be with us all.
Excerpted from "The Caring Heart Speaks: Meditations for foster, kinship, and adoptive parents" by Gail Underwood Parker Artwork by Anna Parker David from the book cover.