Golden Rule of Consequences

All too often parents feel that a consequence's purpose is to make a child suffer so they won't ever do the misbehavior again. Consequences are not supposed to punish... they are to teach. Teaching effectively is helped by restraint. I know it is tempting to threaten all our war ["You are grounded for the next month." "No cell phone for three weeks." "I'm going to take all of your toys and pack them up." etc.] Resist! Don't blow all your ammunition at once. Don't attack an annoying insect with a full house exterminator. Don't threaten something you are not able or willing to follow through. Show restraint. Take a minute [or an hour] to get calmed down and to consider a realistic, effective consequence.

The golden rule of consequences is :

Always use the smallest consequence possible that is likely to be effective.