When you have to go away.... Loveys

One of the challenges of going out of town as a single parent is how to keep the little and not so little ones from feeling abandoned, especially if that is part of their past. I've tried framed pictures of me by their beds, little pics tucked places with notes from me for them to find, daily phone calls, an envelope-a-day for them to open from me. Books to bond are plentiful. The Kissing Hand and Love You Forever are two favorites of my kiddos. How about yours? Send me your kids' favorite comfort books and maybe we can get a list going? Anyway, given the anxiety my kids often experience when I leave, you name it, we've tried it. All of those have helped at various ages and stages.

Here's an activity I like that the kids really surprised me by loving year after year. Before I leave we do a craft project, making what we started calling "Loveys" when they were younger. Using felt or fleece you cut out two hearts or even just two squares. Gather cotton, some glittter, a few trinkets and some pieces of paper. Together write little notes on the paper ["I love you" "Your smiles make me happy" "I will be home soon" etc. ] Have the child pick out some trinkets [beads, shapes, mini-animals, whatever the child likes and picks]. Using yarn sew up three sides [or 3/4 of the heart]. Then very lightly stuff the shape with the cotton. Then fold the mini-notes and put inside the cotton [My guys like me to put a kiss on each note before I put it in]. Then add in the trinkets. Finally sprinkle in the magic glitter. Stitch the Lovey closed making a mini-pillow filled with love, messages, and kisses. They can keep it under their pillow, in their backpack, even in a pocket, while you are gone. Sometimes having something tangible to touch and remember the two of you sitting together making it, makes all the difference.

So, that's my strategy to offer today. Try it and let me know how it works.